Hey everyone. I don't have much to share at the moment, but there is good news. We'll have some relatively juicy stuff for you tonight. Tomorrow will bring you journalistic riches.• The Auburn men play Arkansas tonight at 7 CST. I'll be live blogging, of course.
HABOTN value: 3 briquets out of 10.
• Football assistants Trooper Taylor and Ted Roof Rusted (B-52s reference) will be discussing pigskin matters tomorrow afternoon around 4 CST. You know I'll beeline to the HABOTN immediately afterward.
HABOTN value: 8 briquets out of 10.
no way. :)
ReplyDelete"Love Shack" baby! are you meeting them one-on-one or what JG?
ReplyDeleteBeat the Hogs tonite! gotta have this one.
Scottie B I'm number 3
ReplyDeleteTed Roof Rusted!
ReplyDeleteTeeeeeed Roof ... rusted!
ReplyDeleteTomorrow's interviews will be done with clusters of beat hacks.
I need to PayPal that money, Scottie! Being done right now.
ReplyDelete"SHOW ME THE MONEEEYYYYY!!!!"
ReplyDeleteso this is a planned press conference thingy? not that i'm complaining, but why now? is this normal in mid february?
Remember the 90's band Rusted Roof? "Send me on my Way!"
ReplyDeleteChris Low has us ranked #11 in SEC power rankings. I'm a big Falcons fan and see a lot of similarities. Mainly that I think we'll be good when no one in the media does.
ReplyDeleteBut now that I think about it, I thought that about my two favorite teams as long as I can remember. I guess the moral is......think you're favorite team will be good every year and you're bound to eventually be right.
It's better to have incredibly low expectations every year, that way you will never be disappointed.
ReplyDeleteAim for the ground, because you never miss!
11? Please tell me MS is 12.
ReplyDeleteehyoutiger,
ReplyDeleteThats a better plan than the Bammers, where you act like you were great in the past...and have been ever since...
Noone admits to the years you sucked
that's how i've lived most my life michael
ReplyDeleteLast year we could have missed the ground, if that was the QB's target
ReplyDeleteYes, Miss. State is #12. My dad's an alum and I love them, but bless their hearts, they have never gotten together on the football field.
ReplyDeleteHere's the site if you're interested:
myespn.go.com/blogs/sec
Wait, did I mention something about a drunken stupor, Harrison?
ReplyDeleteSomeone mind telling me how to create a hyperlink on a post?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletegive me your email address and I will forward you the link that Monica sent to me
ReplyDeletehttp://www.w3schools.com/HTML/html_links.asp
ReplyDeleteIn a fit of irony, I decided not to hyperlink this post on hyperlinking
ehyou, that's the link I was going to give you...
ReplyDeleteSorry for stealing your thunder, Luv. If it makes it up to you, I would like to say you have a cute dog.
ReplyDeletemichael, thanks! His name is Buddy aka Jackass. It's ok, you didn't steal my thunder.
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton, now I know.
ReplyDeleteI understand where Chris Low is coming from but let's get real, no way Auburn finishes 2nd worst in the SEC, right....RIGHT?!
ReplyDeleteChris Low is stupid.
ReplyDeleteI don't disagree to much with his reasoning. I think we will do better, but what did the team do last year that would suggest he is way out of line? I don't think it's nuts to put us back at 11. You can make a convincing argument on why every team above us will do better than us.
ReplyDeleteSeanZ, I would like to think AU will be better than that, but he makes some reasonable arguments. After last years disaster, I think people are somewhat unsure what to think of AU.
ReplyDeleteCollege football is a very dynamic entity. Teams ebb and flow. It's so easy for someone that doesn't pay much mind to Auburn football to say "Well they were bad last year, so they'll be bad this year."
ReplyDeleteI'll make my Falcons allusion again. I watched every game the year before and we did play bad. Yet despite that fact, we were in virtually every game in the 4th quarter. We just had too many not go our way.
Let's make them go our way this year.
just in case you guys/gals missed it, but the SI Swimsuit issue is now available online, www.si.com/swimsuit. :)
ReplyDeleteI'll bet anybody that wants to bet that AU finishes no worse than 3rd in the west and no worse than 5th overall.
ReplyDeleteWonder where Chris Low predicted us to be last yr. I got a 5 spot that says he was nowhere the disgusting reality.
ReplyDeleteoverall meaning SEC
ReplyDeleteI hope every coach in the SEC reads that and agrees with Chris Low. Don't worry 'bout poor ole Auburn, just go ahead and put a "W" next to that one on next yr's schedule.
ReplyDeleteI think Auburn performs better when they're the underdog anyway.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope you're right, Phred!!
ReplyDeletePhred, I never bet against AU, but I have a hard time seeing the team finishing as high as you do. How do you see the West shaping up?
ReplyDeleteHey all, 3rd in the West could be 7-5 or 8-4, neither of which would be terrible. This very well may end up one of those years where every team in our division has 3-4 losses.
ReplyDeleteGetting back on track to MBB. I think we can sweep Arkansas, we didn't seem to have much trouble in Fayetteville but this team is anything but consistent. Jay how many wins do you see left on the schedule and how does that affect Mr. Jeff Lebo?
ReplyDeleteI have always been optimistic to a fault regarding AU football. AU has never taken the field in a game that I thought they had no chance of winning.
ReplyDeleteMy predictions for the West:
1) LSU
2) Ole Miss, AU, or UAT
5) Arky
6) MS ST
Before the SEC sched started, Jay said something about AU being on a 7 game win streak and that they would not win 7 more games this yr.
ReplyDeleteI agree Luv that Auburn tends to relish the underdog role and seems to wilt under high expectations. I wonder how much of that was Tubberville?
ReplyDeleteIt was a Rock(er) Lobster!
ReplyDeleteWhat to say? I'll say this:
WE MUST QUIT BEING HAPPY ABOUT BEING THE UNDERDOG AND EMBRACING THAT ROLE AS OUR SECURITY BLANKET.
Let's earn the role of favorite very soon and defend it on the field.
That's when we will arrive.
Will, to be totally honest, last year's Bama game was the first game I can remember thinking that AU had no chance. The momentum, the matchups they all favored Bama. On another note, the 2001 Black Saturday was the most miserable Auburn game I have attended. Didn't see it coming, couldn't believe it, a total disaster.
ReplyDeleteJet for the record, as a freshman @ AU (2003) I expected no less than an SEC title and was bitterly disappointed all year (plus I ate a LOT of crow.) In 2004 my 2003 expectations were fulfilled and had the best ride ever. In 2005 I expected about what we got (except thought we'd beat Tech) and 2006 anything less than 13-0 or 14-0 was not acceptable. I don't know how likes this underdog garbage but I want us to be a juggernaut.
ReplyDeletedid it make you...dare I say... a depressed AU fan?
ReplyDeleteRelishing the underdog role just means that when expectations are high you don't live up to expectations. It's not always a good thing.
ReplyDeleteI also went around the office pre 2008 season crowing about dreams of "no worse than 9-3" but with "10-2 to be par for the course." I called out sick numerous Mondays.
ReplyDeleteSeanz, I think we win 3 or 4 more games this yr and hopefully win a game or two in the SEC tourney. Not good enough for NIT.
ReplyDeleteLebo comes back next yr b/c I don't think AU will be willing to shell out the cash to buy him out.
I'm not disagreeing with you Jet. Your sentiment is right on. I'm just saying what's been the case for the last decade.
ReplyDeleteWill, that's pretty much what I think also. I mean one year to recruit to the new building, one year to back it up.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe good news for AU football this season is we generally tend to bounce back and do well after a season of disappointment.
ReplyDeleteTo say we thrive as the underdog is not to say that we enjoy being the underdog, it is just stating historical fact. Auburn often exceeds low expectations. I think now is as good of a time as any to celebrate that fact, because don't look now, but the expectations are pretty freggin low. I don't think any fans were complaining about us being picked to win the West this last year because they missed our role as underdog.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the love for LSU next year. Has anyone noticed that their defense has been horrible the last two years? And this year they lose their entire DL and beckwith at LB.
ReplyDeleteI know they had a good bowl game, and shut down a one dimensional overachieving Ga Tech. And everyone forgets they lost 3 of their last 4 regular season games.
depreAU, maybe it was the beer I opened at 6:30 that morning (this yrs IB) that was fueling my hope.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that got me was the lack of heart, will, pride, whatever you want to call it that our team showed during that game and several others this yr. Sometimes I just don't get the impression that some of our guys have what it takes to play through adversity and win. Most of the guys I'm talking about play offense.
Michael, sad to say, I frequently hear the thankful attitudes of some of our brethren because the expectations are low and they suspect we can manage them better.
ReplyDeleteMy mom, a huge TN Titans fan and 10 year season ticket holder, she is my kind of fan. No matter what has happened, who's hurt, who the offensive coordinator is, I ask her "what do you think about the Titans this year?" Her answer never has changed..."16-0."
ReplyDeletelooking at the schedule.. honestly I think we could go to Baton Rouge undefeated... what happens there who knows
ReplyDeleteAU Junkie, I was looking at that earlier today as well. 7-0 or 6-1 would not be unrealistic.
ReplyDeletemichael, that was probably the beginning of the depression, yes. My misery was compounded after the game when CTT said on the radio that Coach Fran was going to have to answer why he had been playing Watts instead of Zow. Classic Tubs Talk. Sorry, I am trying to honor the no-Tubs talk but sometimes it is hard.
ReplyDeleteYou guys realize of course that you are discussing the "fan's" expectations and attitudes regarding underdogs and favorites, not the "team's".
ReplyDeleteHate to bust bubbles here, but those coaches/players don't play or train harder b/c internet fans complain or expect stuff. So what "we" expect really doesn't matter. "Expecting" may make some of us feel better (or depressed), but doesn't produce results.
Contrary to what many think, we do still have a lot of talent on the Plains(especially D).
If the coaches can organize the offense to fit our limited abilites, then we can score enuff to keep the D healthy and Phred can win his bet.
My guess for the west this coming season.
ReplyDelete1) Ole Miss
2) LSU
3) Bama
4/5) Auburn & Arkansas
6) MSU
If we make it into the top 3 in the west, I will be impressed.
Will, last year was probably the most lifeless, lethargic performance(based on a whole season) that I can remember from an AU team. When that many players play that way, it seems to be a total coaching breakdown to me. Whatever the record may be this upcoming season, I really want to see that old fire that even overmatched AU teams have had in the past.
ReplyDeleteIf it does not make you excited to be in the preseason top 10 like we were, then you are some kind of stupid fan.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, with low expectations, I don't have a problem with people making lemonade out of some lemons here and noting we always do better when no one believes in us. Kind of like how we have been able to drum up some excitement about the Chizik era despite his previous head coaching record.
Yeah, I never said I liked the underdog role. I, too, want Auburn to be a juggernaut, as SeanZ put it. It just always seemed that when everyone was counting them out (last season being the exception), they did well.
ReplyDeleteJay G.
ReplyDeleteYou get the HOTTIES all the BEST Stuff!
You are like the gift that keeps giving..... like Lane Kiffin and his mouth!
Have a HOTTIE afternoon everyone!
The Chiz has done well so far. I don't want to get too excited about him, but I wouldn't say I am thrilled just yet. So far, I think he has kept us at about where we would have been without a coaching change, which to me, is very impressive.
ReplyDeleteGov. Jet you have the seeds of greatness in you. Nurse them, caress them, poor water on them. We must rid ourselves of this defeatest attitude. Auburn University is second to none.
ReplyDeleteHoopie, I hope I didn't imply that players read any internet forum for expectations. Players expect to play well and win games regardless of what fans think. As for the defense, I think the talent is OK, but not at the level it has been in the past. I do expect to see a better defensive performance this year with Chizik in charge.
ReplyDeleteHoopie said...Hate to bust bubbles here, but those coaches/players don't play or train harder b/c internet fans complain or expect stuff. So what "we" expect really doesn't matter. "Expecting" may make some of us feel better (or depressed), but doesn't produce results.
ReplyDeleteNo, really??? I did not know that!
I wasn't talking about fan's expectations anyway
All I really ask of a coaching staff is to have our team prepared to play. Our defense was outstanding last season. Our offense was offensive. I think we can have a good season. We have talent on offense. It is just a matter of using it. Our offense looking totally unprepared to play last season after Franklin left. Before he left, we had too many stupid mistakes, which I largely attribute to Franklin. The offensive coaches didn't do a good job of preparing the team.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to not making mistakes, I consider that a purely coaching issue. Successful coaches are able to teach players not to make the idiotic plays. For instance, holding in the endzone resulting in a safety. That is just idiotic. If you missed your block, switch to a lookout block and let the guy go.
Last year may have been the best defense I have seen at Auburn. If Simms had returned, I think it definitely would have been. The problem is, if you couple a great defense with the most unprepared confused mind numbing offense that God ever brought for on the plains, the defense gets beat up.
ReplyDeleteSo many times, it seems that the previous season's results skew the next season's predictions.
ReplyDeleteUGA pounds Hawaii and is picked #1 preseason. UGA did look very good on paper, however objective folks that followed UGA were very nervous about the OLine and the brutal sdhedule. The returning OLine had good starters w/o depth. Then UGA lost starters prior to spring drills, during spring drills and in Fall camp. The predictors were undeterred.
Of course no one foresaw that the UGA defense would forget tackling fundamentals in the off season.
Steve, the defense started out strong but like the rest of the team, went downhill as the season went on. The WVU game was one of the worst games I have seen an AU defense play recently. Obviously, they had no support from the offense, but there were some bad defensive performances last year.
ReplyDeleteWhat is my biggest wish for next season? To never hear the coach say that we need to simplify the offense. If they say it once, it means we are in trouble. If they say it twice, it means we suck. If they say it three times, it means they are updating their resume as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteSo please, start slow on offense. Install the victory formation and the QB taking a knee. Work your way up to the QB sneak. Then possibly attempt a Mike Shula handoff up the middle. But do not ever ever ever let me hear a coach say we need to simplify the offense again.
As for the West Virginia game, it was pretty apparent our defense was just worn out. It was partially due to injuries, but the players that were playing were worn out too.
Man, that WV game....I have recurring nightmares about that dam little back slipping through the line, someone taking a bad angle and him scatting for 30 yards.
ReplyDeleteThe reason it is recurring is because that happened about 14 times in that game.
I believe I was speaking to how the team performs against expectations -- 2003, 2008 as prime examples.
ReplyDeleteIn 2003, we (the 100 or so young men playing football or Auburn University and the people responsible for coaching them) didn't handle the expectations well.
In 2008, we didn't deal well with several sets of expectations -- how an offense should work, first and foremost.
As Auburn fans, we should encourage our team to embrace the challenge of high expecations and not settle for low expectations. Maybe this encapsulates a little better what I was trying to convey.
Chris Low isn't stupid. He's a good dude. Really.
ReplyDeleteThis is what people think of Auburn right now. I agree with many of you that the Tigers will be better than 11th next year. Still, the program looks extraordinarily weak from the outside.
I'd like to see what a healthy Chris Todd can do. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeletesteve, I looked back at some box-scores to see if I was remembering correctly. This is rushing yards only: WVU 35-271 Ark 44-188 Ole Miss 41-233 Bama 50-234. Again, I know there was no support from the offense, but the defense was hardly stellar either. I agree, no simplifying on offense. By the end of last year, I believe AU had 6 plays in the playbook.
ReplyDeleteWe obviously saw the worst of Chris Todd last year. From what I understand he had been good prior. The guy didn't just forget how to throw the football.
ReplyDeleteJay GT - you may have to go back to his HS film to see that. I'm not sure it's in his future. We'll find out next fall, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteHoopie, it's not about internet fan expectations. It seems if we are highly ranked or "experts" are predicting us to be great, our teams don't react well to that pressure and attention.
ReplyDeleteSteve,
I wouldn't rank last year's D up with the top D's I've seen at Auburn over the past 20+ years. They couldn't touch the 1988 D. I'd also take the 1989, 1993, 1994, 2004 & 2007 D's over them as well.
I don't think we can afford to wait very long in preseason practice to find out about Todd.
ReplyDeleteIf he's not throwing seeds in a hurry, then we'll have to move elsewhere -- Kodi, Trotter, or Caudle (who I've said I don't think is likely either).
I'm with Jay on CT. I was a big fan of his going into the season. He struggled a bit I stuck with him and didn't jump on the Burns wagon. I'm not sure that Burns would have done much better with Franklin that second half or Todd with Ensminger but what I do know is we only won 1 game with Burns under center and that was Vs. UT-Martin and we were tied in the 3rd quarter.
ReplyDeleteWill the new offense require a mobile quarterback?
ReplyDeleteI started to write a Todd vs Burns post. It got to a couple of paragraphs, and I stopped myself and deleted. That was a close one. Moving on.
ReplyDeleteSo does a healthy Chris Todd include a new set of wheels?
ReplyDeleteSo who will feel the internet poster love in the pre-season and early games of 2009?
ReplyDeleteLast year Burns and Fannin could do no wrong from the bench from July until October.
I don't think Todd was as slow as people made him out to be, he just wasn't built for the QB runs that the old offense had set up.
ReplyDeleteBurns wasn't that impressive of a runner either. He ran off balance and went down quickly.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat if we started a puppet at QB?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe Chris Todd could transfer to BC?
I've resigned myself from other Auburn blogs and am now currently 100$ HABOTN all the time. Any preseason love I see will come from this fine group of people. So who's going first?
ReplyDeleteI found this to be hysterical for some reason. Overconfidence
ReplyDeleteIf we suspect that Chris Todd is even imagining himself transferring to BC, we should kick him off the team and see to it that his parents are framed for murder.
ReplyDeleteThat's the BC way of doing things. Fight fire with fire!
A dastardly plan Michael. I love it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think straight-line speed is a critical component of Gus Malzahn's ideal quarterback.
ReplyDeleteHe needs someone with a strong arm and good decision-making skills. Todd had one of those last season; had both before the shoulder injury.
I'm thinking Chris Todd's dad ought to be made the sheriff of Rock Ridge.
ReplyDeleteI started reading the posts and got very discouraged. Why do you have such low expectations? If AU wins only 8 games in 2009, my question would be why did we get rid of Tubbs?
ReplyDeleteI am chapped if we do not make it to ATL. So I have been chapped fror several years, but I still expect AU to win and win aften. These guys did not forget how to play ball. Injuries, coaching were too huge problems that could not be overcome. I think we win 9 or 10 this year.
What's up HABOTN nation? I've been slogging it out at work today and just got a chance to check the latest.
ReplyDeleteSorry to cheat on the home team, but I'll be watching the UNC-DUKE affair tonight.
Hit me up on Yahoo IM if you are so inclined and are watching as well. mr_sensible_auburn@yahoo.com is the handle.
So JGT what are CT's chances of being healthy enough to be the MAN.
ReplyDeleteSensi ...
ReplyDeleteMay I commend to you on www.cnnsi.com from the Sports Illustrated vault a story from 1995 on the Duke-UNC series.
As a known hater, I can appreciate the level of hate that they share for each other.
Michael.....it is again time to discuss the BC coach handling?...I don't dare start it...so it's up to you
ReplyDeleteTodd's greatest spring/preseason value was that he knew the Franklin system. That value is gone.
It seems to me that the Qb sit is as wide open as I can remember at any school. Unless there is some Sabanesque type attrition, we are looking at 6 QBs on campus next Fall. 2 of those have SEC experience, although not successful experience.
I was pleased with how Todd played early on. I am just not a believer in short term solutions at QB. If Todd is in the kind of shape where he could play a full season, then he might be a consideration, but playing him for the first 3 or 4 games, or even half a season doesn't make sense. If he isn't the solution for a season (barring injuries), you get someone who is healthy in there and get them the experience. Decision making was Todd's strong suite. He ran adequately. But give me a QB that can last through the season. Give me a guy with guts, like Brandon Cox. Heck, I wish we had Cox.
ReplyDeleteBurns, Trotter, or Caudle could be the guy. We will just have to wait and see. As for Todd, I think it will be very apparent if his arm is going to be there. Throwing the ball hard isn't the thing. Just an average arm will do. He couldn't even pretend to be average in the second half against LSU.
Todd's value was he was a smart quarterback that made good decisions. Malzahn's system is similar to Franklins, although you won't here many saying so. A healthy Todd can make it work. The Todd we saw the first couple of games last season could make it work. But we cannot waste QB experience on a guy that will only be around for a few games.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe Kodi is dumb. He ran a system similar to Franklin's in highschool. He can learn. Hopefully that will happen. Give me an experienced QB any day.
Hey all. Boy, Jury duty is hopefully at an end. Was selected for a trial that started but ending up getting resolved before we could deliberate on it. I get to call back after 6pm to find out if I have to show up again. All and all, it is an enjoyable experience excpet for all the sitting around.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have missed alot, so bear with me while I catch up.
Todd was limping in Lowder today. Idk if it was a serious injury or not.
ReplyDeleteif I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town. I say Tony Franklin.
ReplyDeleteDare I say it? -- dare! dare! -- President Lepetomane!
ReplyDeleteTed Roof Rusted B-52s reference was awesome.
ReplyDeleteHABOTN value: 9 briquets out of 10.
Think of your secretary.
ReplyDeleteBOOYAKASHA!
ReplyDeletePuppet Hour is here.
The affairs of state always take precedence over, uh, the affairs of state.
ReplyDeleteballin, I haven't seen Todd lately. I don't know what's going on with him.
ReplyDeleteI seriously doubt his arm is in any shape to throw right now, but that's just conjecture on my part. I have FOI'ed his MRI.
Just kiddin'.
What the hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You'll be able to sue her.
ReplyDeleteWe need a song for Puppet Hour.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the Fraggle Rock theme song, but instead of saying Fraggle Rock you say Puppet Hour?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aky72-gyLLI
ReplyDeleteGoodbye gentlemen. I am off to stampede a herd of cattle through the Vatican.
ReplyDeletewhat about the std puppet song from Chappelle's show
ReplyDeleteI will not be available for puppet hour tomorrow as I am off work, and i usually only post from work
ReplyDeleteIt'll be Puppet Hour lite for me today. Trying to get stuff done.
ReplyDeleteThe Saved by the Bell theme song would also be good for Puppet Hour
ok saved by the bell it is.
ReplyDeletemuch more partial to the theme from "facts of life"
ReplyDeleteOK, I'll say it.
ReplyDeleteI HATE Saved by the Bell. Almost as much as I hate UAT.
Gov, I weep for you. I am sorry you missed the Saved by the Bell train.
ReplyDeleteJet. I am terribly upset that you do not enjoy possibly the greatest tv show of all time. What's next? you hate kittens and ice cream? I bet you're secretly married to a puppet
ReplyDeleteRandom thought of the day:
ReplyDeleteRosetta Stone or Tell Me More
discuss
I love ice cream. I hate kittens because they become cats, and I am deathly allergic to cats.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Jet is not a puppet. However, I could be accused of being her puppet.
According to an Associated Press report, NCAA rules committee is "discussing" making excessive celebrations a "live ball foul," which could result in taking points off the board.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss among yourselves.
Re: ice cream and kittens/cats
ReplyDeleteDitto the guvnah
Why not make celebrations part of the game instead of hating on them? Let judges award 0,1, or two points depending on how good the post touchdown celebration is. That way, we get rid of extra points (which will be hard due to all of our kickers being impaled) and make the game more awesome all around.
ReplyDeleteWhen Gov. Jet becomes President Jet, TarHeel Tiger will either be Surgeon General in his role as Dr. HABOTN or Ambassador to Ice Cream.
ReplyDeleteI too am allergic to cats. They make me wheeze and itch all over. Why do people own them as pets? Their intelligence and personality rival that of a squirrel.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could enjoy seeing cats in microwaves, but alas, I'm not that sick... yet.
ReplyDeleteAs Surgeon General, I would encourage increased dietary intake of ice cream. The healing powers of ice cream are not to be underestimated.
we have 2 cats michael. 1 of them is very cool, almost dog like. the other bites and scratches and eats babies. It's hard to find babies to feed the cat.
ReplyDeleteI want in Prez. Jet's cabinet
Growing up, being anywhere near where a cat had been would make my eyes itch so bad I would want to gouge them out. Then I worked a few months for a veterinarian during my freshman year at Auburn. Cleaning cat cages was incredible misery for a few weeks until I was finally desensitized.
ReplyDeleteYou're in the mix for the much coveted Secretary of Snark, Harrison.
ReplyDeleteI think this is all a trick to capture some of the best hotties in a literal cabinet at Jet's house while he runs amok on HABOTN unchecked.
ReplyDeleteDespite my misgivings, I will still accept any post given to me in the cabinet. What can I say, it is worth the chance.
ReplyDeleteMichael, Michael.
ReplyDeleteThis could cost you that appointment as Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff of Joints.
I'm illiterate. Please don't put me in a literal cabinet. Or work you implying a cat literal closet. Oh the eye gouging!!!
ReplyDeletei just want to do some tv pressers and what not just to show my high level of snarkiness and hatred for all things stupid
ReplyDeleteJust to let you know ...
ReplyDeleteI leaving now for a secret meeting to plan my major foreign policy initiative ... "War on Cats."
Check in late tonight.
I want to get annoyed with the press and be on a first name basis with them during press conferences. I would be all like, "Well, TOM, I think you already answered your own question."
ReplyDeleteI'm sleepy and wonder how I'll last until the 9 p.m. game tonight. Michael, will your puppets share some of their meth with me? Just don't tell the future President as it could result in me being promoted to the VP slot.
ReplyDeletejay g,
ReplyDeleteYou rock.
Your friend,
Denny
I burned all my puppets last night, so no meth. The puppet show I was putting on got a little crazy, one thing led to another, Geoffrey (one of my puppets) came on stage with some lighter fluid and matches, and next thing I know, the fire department is there, they are blaming me for the activity of my puppets, and I am in court today.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, a fellow Hottie was on jury duty and I am pretty sure he got me off on all charges.
SUPPER TIME!!!
ReplyDeleteThen it will be a heavy dose of post-prandial narcolepsy.
hope you have puppet insurance
ReplyDeleteI hope Geoffrey isn't related to that Chucky fellow.
ReplyDeleteNo way, Harrison! If there is one thing I hate more than puppets, it is puppet insurance.
ReplyDeleteOf course, as is the theme with me, I actually own a puppet insurance company that I run on the side. I'm complicated, man.
coach crum! mobilz! good to hear from y'all.
ReplyDeletewas pinnichio truly a puppet or an unfortunate boy encased in wood. i need answers.
ReplyDeletethink i meant pinnochio--and i'm not sure i spelled it right.
ReplyDeletehe was a marry-o-net
ReplyDeleteh you danced in death like a marionette on the vengeance of the law
ReplyDeleteI'm still having lyrical loose associations
ReplyDeletePerhaps some Immodium would help.
After all the hub bub about having a long snapper on scholarship heres a nice read.
ReplyDeletehttp://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/andy_staples/02/11/longsnappers/index.html?eref=T1
Good evening you HOT things
ReplyDeleteUSA vs Mexico in futbol now on ESPN2
ReplyDeletethat's a big deal out here (usa v. mex.)
ReplyDeleteShameless self-promotion below:
ReplyDeleteSo Long (For Good), Brett Favre