Click to enlarge them.
NOTE: A proper contract, outlining Chizik's performance bonuses and other professional expectations, should be finalized before Media Days in late July.
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5.19.2009
Chizik's contract
Hey everyone. We knew Gene Chizik was making $1.9 million as Auburn's coach, but now we have proof of that agreement.
Click to enlarge them.
NOTE: A proper contract, outlining Chizik's performance bonuses and other professional expectations, should be finalized before Media Days in late July.
Page 1:
Page 2:
Click to enlarge them.
NOTE: A proper contract, outlining Chizik's performance bonuses and other professional expectations, should be finalized before Media Days in late July.
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still not august
ReplyDeletewhat about Ruxpin?
ReplyDeleteAs in Teddy?
ReplyDeletei could live with july, at least you can smell august by then...
ReplyDeleteWe are still talking Teddy Ruxpin in the last thread. Come join us.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't people sign contracts with blood anymore?
ReplyDeleteI also expected calligraphy.
ReplyDeleteI think Chizik has no idea how to write a cursive z. I don't blame him. If he actually put effort in the z, it would take him at least 2 seconds longer to sign his name.
ReplyDeleteI will say Chiz's capital G is far superior to Gogue's. I mean, is that a G or an S, Gogue?
ReplyDeleteJay G.,
ReplyDeleteWhat constitutes the difference between "termination with cause" and "termination without cause" for Chizik?
Billy Madison had trouble with cursive "z"'s also
ReplyDeleteDid we just hire Billy Madison as our coach? Uh oh.
ReplyDeleteAfter a few years, I hope Gogue doesn't say, "Mr. Chizik, what you've just done is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent coaching career were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having watched you do it. I award you no more years to your contract, and may God have mercy on your soul."
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of jobs. I am going to a job fair tomorrow and it's being suggested that I wear a tie to this thing. I'm not really a tie wearing kinda guy but after trying on the get up it isn't so bad. My original intent was to wear some khaki cargo and a button up shirt but I'm being told that's not "professional" enough. I know the HABOTN is full of successful people so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Tie no tie? I don't wanna overkill this thing?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKjxFJfcrcA
ReplyDeleteSensi ...
ReplyDeleteTermination w/ cause -- nailed by the NCAA, sexual harassment, etc.
Termination w/o cause -- 5-31 or some such.
wartiger - I never went to job fairs, but on all my interviews I dressed really nicely. You never know when the rep might count you out just because you don't look professional.
ReplyDeletethis is funny stuff here..omit it and it didn't happen..cousin humpers are likely to do the same thing with Sabans first year...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.journalgazette.net/article/20090519/SPORTS0302/305199991/1008/SPORTS
I haven't taken the time to learn how to link..obviously!!
I'm pretty much sold on the tie really but just wanted the opinion of the Hotties..I know it's good to look professional but I don't wanna look like an idiot there either..know what I mean?
ReplyDeletewartiger,
ReplyDeletewear a solid navy blazer, tie, 100% cotton starched shirt, pressed dress pants, and crocs.
infortunately I don't even own a suit..never have had to. I am borrowing all the clothes I'm wearing from my step-dad..sad I know but it's just the case..
ReplyDeleteMichael- I've seen Billy Madison countless times but forgot about that scene. I think that's how Jacobs feels after the press conference when he hired CGC...
wartiger- I do own exactly one suit, pretty sure it doesn't fit anymore. My dressing up is jeans and an untucked polo
ReplyDeleteI just read Mullens comments on AUs limos..I really like that the other SEC coaches don't like it. I think that just says how good of an idea it was. I mean now if THEY do it THEY are just imitating AU...the only option is to bash it.."spend our money on sneakers"..please!!
ReplyDeleteDan Mullen ...
ReplyDeleteAfter three years in Starkville, he'll be the one person in the world not saying, "We need more cowbell."
Free Troy Davis?
ReplyDeleteMore like soon-to-be-dead Troy Davis, am I right?!
ReplyDeleteWe've been duped!
ReplyDeleteI just zoomed in on the signature on the contract.
We didn't hire Gene Chizik, we hired Gene Clull!
Salsa, when is Gene Clull day?!?!?
Enjoy the job fair wartiger. You can borrow my one 10 year old suit which still fits, somehow or other. I actually had to wear it Friday night, so it is freshly cleaned.
ReplyDeleteJGT - I love those ERA stats you brought to my attention. Not the actual numbers, but that's some great information. I eat that stuff like it was country style steak.
THTjr has completed day one of his UK trip without a functioning ATM card. Uh oh.
Dear Leader, who I'm sure is long gone.. is there any month more useless than June? I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteI extend a laurel...
ReplyDeleteWait, that's not my intent here (Jet knows what I mean). shesaid, michael and Harrison contributed to a most excellent Puppet Hour today. I really enjoyed reading it and almost, ALMOST didn't want to leave the office. And you managed to carry it across threads. Well done.
war tiger ... if you are looking good then you can't look like an idiot. never be self-conscious about looking good. so the moral of the story is ... look good. That's half the battle.
ReplyDeleteConfident, not cocky.
ReplyDeleteClean, but not showy.
Firm, but not strident.
Firm handshake, but not overpowering.
Inquisitive, but not interrogatory.
Auburn family values, not UATite that values their family in a way that they want to hump their cousin
Or be humped by a St Bernard, Jet.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, your highness.
ReplyDeleteGood Evening Hotties!!!!
ReplyDeleteI hate Bama! That is all.
You know, creating a blog is interesting. Don't know how well it will go, but what the hay, why not.
ReplyDeletewartiger: I like ties. Appearing professional actually makes a lot of people think you're professional. Look at me.
ReplyDeleteTHT: Is THTjr going to see West Ham play this weekend?
Sensi: The full contract will tell the tale on real reasons for termination.
Norm,
ReplyDeleteand a hardy handshake?
Is there a Mr. Johnson in the house?
ReplyDeleteNext time, Lebowski, we CUT OFF YOUR JOHNSON!
ReplyDeleteJohnson?
June has its purpose. It isn't a coincidence that there is crap for sports in June and so many marriages in June. Sure honey, we can get married, just wait until June.
ReplyDeleteAnyone watching this American Idol thingie. It appears they are down to two if I am not mistaken. I don't follow it close, but I would make the guy with the good hair cut the winner.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Jet is a devoted follower, and Appendage and Stewardess have invaded my cave.
ReplyDeleteI find it irritating. The guyliner guy will win.
I cannot stand Americon Idol and pretty much all of reality TV for that matter. I miss good prime time shows, especially the good comedies.
ReplyDeleteI just took a closer view at the initial contract. That's it?
ReplyDeleteEddie, the economy has ruined our chances of seeing more than a handful of good, scripted comedies. Or dramas.
ReplyDeletePhreddy, that's the basic deal Chizik signed initially.
ReplyDeleteThey "are working" on a proper contract which, allegedly, isn't yet ready for public dispersal. You know -- attorneys and such.
How come Coach Chiz's multi million dollar agreement is a page and a half and when someone makes an offer on my house it's more like 30 pages of 5 point font?
ReplyDeleteAustin (Wakerider) I need to see you in my office please. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAgreed Jay G, but even when they invest in decent drama's, they don't give them a shot. I liked the new show on NBC called Kings, and they yanked it after like 3-4 episodes. All they hype and it barely gets a shot and it was actually not that bad. If it wasn't for Directv, they would have cancelled "Friday Night Lights" which I consider one of the best shows on tv. I guess I don't get it any more. How many more new cop drama's can we take? Southland is good, but it is getting tiring.
ReplyDeleteI wish they had a Cheers channel that just looped episodes....preferably the ones where Coach has several lines.
ReplyDeleteMom - yes indeed.
ReplyDeleteWill - my favorite: ...I'm not a well travelled man, I'm not a smart man, I'm not a milk man, I'm not a fat man, I'm not a gingerbread man, I'm not a...
Eddie - Deadliest Catch? C'mon. That has to be the best Reality shows ever. I don't miss an episode. Anyone who says differently...well, they're just wrong.
ReplyDeleteNorm- You are right, I completely forgot about Deadliest Catch, but that is more documentary than reality in my opinion. I love it also and don't miss one.
ReplyDeleteThe best TV shows are now on HBO and Showtime. Ladies' Detective on HBO is pretty darn good, and it don't even have no nudity either.
ReplyDeleteEntourage, True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Flight of the Concords make my fav list on HBO.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, someone needs to inform Mullen on the rules of SEC etiquette. If you are at MSU, you don't talk crap.
ReplyDeleteBig Love is just the best show on TV. Yea, it lacks testosterone, but this last season was fabulous.
ReplyDeleteThe Sopranos are always a favorite.
Dexter on Showtime is a surprising favorite.
Best shows on nowadays:
ReplyDeleteDog Bounty Hunter
Reno 911
Two and Half Men
I guess I should say best non-premium channel shows. I'm waaay too cheap to pay for those.
ReplyDeleteBest shows for me:
ReplyDeleteFamily Guy
Friday Night Lights
Two & Half Men
The Office
30 Rock
Entourage
True Blood
Deadliest Catch
Those are my fav's.
Steve...
ReplyDeleteI've read the Dexter books. I'm glad to hear the tv show does it justice.
You tell 'em Steve. Big Love is just the best.
ReplyDeleteY'all missing out with Damages and Mad Men.
Big Bang Theory is good, Eddie. Two and Half Men, very good.
i love me some reno 911! just finished a pretty good day of golf on a pretty nice course. tuning up my game for mauai and, then, bama. see y'all!
ReplyDeleteI'm willing to try Big Bang Theory. I cannot get into Big Love. I watched the first two season's, but just felt blah about it. My wife love's it. Show i'm guilty of watching is The Closer and when it was on, Sex in the City. Damn my wife :)!
ReplyDeleteScott, i'm jealous. Hope it was fun. I'm excited to be playing Monday with my Dad. Should be fun.
ReplyDeleteDo people do anything in Arizona besides play golf?
ReplyDeletewow Eddie you really watched Sex and The City?
ReplyDeleteEddie - The Closer is one the wife and I watch together.
ReplyDeleteMon - after you and Scottie B have talked about it so much, I've been checking out Damages online the past few times the wife and child have been out of town. I have 2 more episodes to watch to complete Season 1. Excellent show.
I have finished seasons 1 and 2 of Barney Miller that I got for Christmas. Highly recommended.
ReplyDeleteDetective Deitrich was my favorite.
ReplyDeleteBedtime. Goodnight folks.
ReplyDeletefree hockey tonight!
ReplyDeleteBlackhawks and commies tied at 2 after regulation
JayGT - THTjr goes to West Ham game next Tuesday. He's just touring around in the meantime. ATM block resolved.
ReplyDeleteWartiger,
ReplyDeleteJob fairs are run by HR people. They'll judge on appearance. You've got to impress them to go further.
Interviewing with technical people you can probably drop the tie but be prepared to convince them you can produce.
If it's business or something that deals with the public, you'll probably have to get a whole set of ties.
Mr. and Mrs. Jet watch The Mentalist ... usually having DVRd it. We also watch Big Bang, and Two and a Half.
ReplyDeleteI have no interest in Big Love.
Happy Gilmore on Golf Channel ... you jackass.
ReplyDeleteThink Salsa would like my friend in the photo?
ReplyDeletecommies win again
ReplyDeleteTHT ...
ReplyDeleteThought about you ... had a small bowl of Mayfield vanilla with a skooch of Hershey's syrup.
Yo Jet - that sounds like what I gave Molly dog an hour ago. I saved the BIG bowl for my greedy ice cream lovin self
ReplyDeletethanks for the tips on the job fair Hotties. I'll be wearing a tie and if possible I'll make it my new avatar. Wish me luck! This isn't anywhere near the end all for me as far as my job hunt goes but it's a start. I knew I could count on ya'll..thanks again..
ReplyDeleteOmnica, you really should check out Ladie's Detective. It is very different than any other HBO series. They don't have any nudity, but they did manage to work in a gay guy. It is just a good quality story.
ReplyDeleteWarTigah ...
ReplyDeleteGo get 'em.
night all..check ya'll tomorrow..(really wish this thing would stop putting a red line underneath "ya'll")
ReplyDeleteTeddy Ruxpin.....you're welcome.
ReplyDeleteAlso.....Mad Men is the best show on the planet. The End.
ReplyDeletewartiger, try y'all
ReplyDeleteAdios muchachos and muchachas.
ReplyDeleteI've been ranting about a 16 team college playoff on another board because of boredom. Please excuse my infidelity. Here is my crazy idea at what a true college football playoff system should look like. I submit it for your dissection. Questions, comments and derogatory remarks are encouraged.
ReplyDeleteHere is what a conference champ auto bid playoff would have looked like at the end of 2008 season.
Rules are: All 11 D-1 conference champs (regardless of conf championship game) are automatically in. The 5 at large berths are determined by the the highest BCS rankings of teams not winning their conference championship. I'm not getting into what bowls or where the games should be played.
The CONFERENCE CHAMPS that are IN with BCS ranking:
1. Oklahoma (Big 12)
2. Florida (SEC)
5. USC (Pac10)
6. Utah (MW)
8. Penn State (Big 10)
9. Boise State (WAC)
12. Cincinnati (Big East)
19. Virginia Tech (ACC)
32. East Carolina (CUSA)
39. Buffalo (MAC)
UR. Troy (Sun Belt)
The AT LARGE TEAMS that are IN with highest BCS ranking:
3. Texas
4. Alabama
7. Texas Tech
10. Ohio State
11. TCU
The first team LEFT OUT of this playoff was #13 Oklahoma State. I don't think an argument can be made that any "great teams" were left out. "Great teams" usually win their conference championship.
Seeding the teams based on BCS ranking 1st Round Games would be:
1 Oklahoma vs. 16 Troy
2 Florida vs. 15 Buffalo
3 Texas vs. 14 East Carolina
4 Alabama vs. 13 Virginia Tech
5 USC vs. 12 Cincinnati
6 Utah vs. 11 TCU
7 Texas Tech vs. 10 Ohio State
8 Penn State vs. 9 Boise State
OU, UF & Texas are virtual locks to get into the 2nd round. Bama and TT get a tough draw. Boise and TCU have a clear shot at making round 2. USC most likely makes it through. Something like this should generally funnel the best teams to the end games and make for a hell of a final four. If a Boise or TCU wants to get hot and play over their heads for a few weeks, more power to them. You can't really predict what the next few rounds would look like because the games would actually have to be played on the field and have an outcome on the scoreboard. Then we would know 100% for sure who should go through and who should go home.
If Auburn was (10-2) losing to LSU and Georgia and ranked 15th in the BCS and got left out, I don't think we could complain because if you win one or both of those you are in the SEC champ game playing for a auto-bid and don't have to worry about where you are ranked.
Find the holes in this theory and fire away!!!! We have nothing else to do until August.
Shesaid - You have excellent taste in all things.
ReplyDeleteSteve - I'm beginning to think you are a closet feminist. I watched Ladies Detectives two times and it's a quality show, great acting, but it just seemed very slow or something. I couldn't quite latch on.
East Carolina, Troy, and Buffalo really shouldn't be in the mix. There would have to be some other criteria such as beating ranked teams in the conference championship. Winning the SECCG to me has been more impressive than winning the BCSNC. The teams are that good.
ReplyDeleteLooks like we got another QB added to our roster. Robert Cooper was a gray shirt until CB Reggie Taylor went JUCO. Now Cooper will receive his scholarship. He has good size and speed (6'4 4.52/40) so he could play WR or Safety I guess.
ReplyDeleteMorning Hotties - just finished my Wednesday run and ready to face the day. Make it a good one peeps.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to wartiger.
Mornin' Norm et al. Today is a double shift day... woo hoo
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Hotties! It's Hump Day!
ReplyDeleteGood luck today, wartiger! Go knock 'em dead!
ReplyDeleteGood morning hotties.
ReplyDeleteIs it August yet?
11 more weeks Eddie, almost there
ReplyDeleteMorning everyone. Yeah this work thing is once again getting in the way of watching the HABOTN. I'm not sure if anyone is in a production industry, but we are having what is known as a Kaizen event ... to make things "lean". I believe the word kaizen can actually be translated to mean torture through monotony and boredom by doing things for a week that won't be done again for the next 51 weeks. Have a great day everyone! Read you in the morning.
ReplyDeleteTommyD,
ReplyDeleteI did "lean" training at the university level a year or so ago. It is very interesting if taught well.
Is it folks from Auburn leading the session? If so, I know a few of them.
I'm off to participate in interviews for potential new staff members today.
ReplyDeleteHave a good Auburn day!
Enjoy Sensi. Ask some good questions, like...Do you hate bama?
ReplyDeleteIf the answer is anything but yes, immediately move to the next candidate.
Question No. 2: You are on an elevator. In your possession are a gun with one bullet, a pen and a piece of paper.
ReplyDeleteThe elevator door opens, and Osama bin Laden, Ahminadouchebag from Iran, and Nick Saban walk into the elevator.
What do you do?
Morning, Hotties!
ReplyDeleteHope y'all have a wonderful day. I am a little slow getting started here but have a full schedule. Catch you tonight.
Jet-
ReplyDeleteAnswer to question #2. You should fire a bullet into Ahminadouchebag, choke Osama bin Laden to death and throw Holy Water on to Nick Saban. Do I get the job?
Eddie ...
ReplyDeleteYour answer is most impressive. I will, however, give other candidates the opportunity to answer.
Answer to question 2:
ReplyDeleteI would get off the elevator and walk down the stairs.
Jet - the only acceptable answer would be to use the gun to shoot Nicky. Then, using pen and paper for note taking, engage in dialogue with the other two riders. I'm told that a dialogue with those two, or really any perceived enemy, is a good and useful exchange.
ReplyDeleteWhen do I start? What's the pay? Can I have every Friday off during the Fall?
Jet, you obviously shoot Ameni..whatever and then you Pistol Whip Osama as he is obvious frail and on dialysis, then you take Nicky into a conference room under the guise of an interview and then you do the magic trick the Joker taught us in The Dark Knight...I think I win.
ReplyDeleteJet-I had to reread the post becauase I thought the gun had two bullets. If it did, I would shoot Saban twice, pistol whip Achmed Inanutjob, and draw a map to Tuscaloosa for bin Laden and tell him that is the base camp for the infidels.
ReplyDeleteWTC your plan is good except for one exception, you want to arm the infadels and make them crazier...not sure that's a smart idea.
ReplyDeletemorning.
ReplyDeleteNorm-glad you caught on to DAMAGES. season 1 may be the best season i have ever seen of any show.
also, props to anyone who can work out or exercise before 8am on a regular basis. i am so not a morning person. i wish i could.
I am definitely an afterwork gym rat. I am completely useless in the morning.
ReplyDeletei have no problem going at lunch or after work. i'm usually a zombie with a coffee cup till 9 or so.
ReplyDeleteSeanz-Not arm the infidels (which are UAT students and fans) but give bin Laden a map to show him where they are so he can attack them.
ReplyDelete4:30am is the best workout time for me. I like to consistantly workout at the same time each day and its a good start to your day.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Eddie on the timing. As much as I hate setting the alarm clock to go off that early, with a small active boy in the house, that's just the time I've found that works best with our family schedule and responsibilities.
ReplyDeletemy wife is the early bird in the house and my job is to keep the dogs chill while she gets ready. it's a tough job, but it allows me to continue my zombie-esque routine in the mornings. if i could lift at home i could make it work because i could keep them downstairs with me. if she'll buy me that bench i want then maybe....just maybe.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHaving spent a large chapter of my life in government where cronyism runs rampant, it doesn't really matter that Norm's answer wasn't really any good. I've known him for nearly 30 years, so he's hired.
ReplyDeleteBut because I am a sneakster, I have also placed the rest of the Hotties on contract without taking competitive bids. You're all hired.
I'm useless morning, noon, and night. Exercise for the sake of exercise is a terrible idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm useless.
ReplyDeleteWoohoo!!! Yay me. Now that I'm a state employee, I'm leaving for my 3 hour lunch. But only 3 hours because I don't want to get back too late and have that run into my break time.
ReplyDeletespeaking of lunch, i'm getting hungry. i need to get outta here.
ReplyDeleteAuburn fans say "got 6?"
ReplyDeleteI say "No. Got 36!".
ROLL TIDE ROLL!
Salsa, what are the physics behind a Tide "Rolling"?
ReplyDeleteI tried some Newman's Own peach salsa one time, and it was really gross. I don't recommend it to anyone.
ReplyDeleteI once wrote the lyrics to a country song called "Rollin' in Pensacola."
ReplyDeleteI'll have to try to dig up the lyrics.
I'm sure "It's Rollin' Baby" is in the lyrics somewhere Jet.
ReplyDeleteHey, Seanzie, maybe if nobody acknowledges his existence, he'll quit coming around...
ReplyDeleteIt had it all, Eduardo. It had it all.
ReplyDeleteMy question to all these bamrs that are still beating their chest about the Auburn-Alabama game last season is: Did you see Auburn play last season?
ReplyDeletewhat, we played football last season? i guess i had blocked it out. oh, we beat Tennessee in one of the ugliest games ever. gotcha. now i remember.
ReplyDeleteYes, and Auburn sucked. Just like they will this season and the next.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but Chizik if your Shula except worse.
I'm enjoying this because of the 6 years of Barn abuse I took in the drought.
Thank Saban for bringing back the rain!
ROLL TIDE!
thank god for 33 year old former strippers.
ReplyDeleteYou get 'Barn' abuse for 6 years because of this kind of behavior, Salsa. And you don't have a crystal ball to know who will be good and who won't, that's why they play the games.
ReplyDelete"Chizik if your Shula except worse"
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell kind of retard language is that
Salsa- It takes real courage to come harass a message board composed of people that didn't harass you these last long 6 years of your life. Way to keep up the class that us Auburn fans have come to know and despise so well.
ReplyDeleteWell yesterday he said that Alabama's RPI was hurt by playing Auburn because Auburn sucks (baseball) and he also included football, even though there is no RPI in football. He failed to mention that a possibility for Bammer's lower RPI was due to 3 losses in four games to said sucky Auburn team.
ReplyDeleteSo in conclusion, Harrison, you hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteEddie,
ReplyDeleteClass and Bammer should never be used in the same sentence.
Shoot me an email when you get a chance.
It's trollin', baby!
ReplyDeleteIt's trollin'!
Sensi- Done.
ReplyDeleteLuv, there's no need to ignore such troll. He will continue to come around and post his straw-man arguments. He will now try and google "straw man" in order to level the playing field. I enjoy educating the ignorant.
ReplyDeleteI may know that idiot. He didn't start posting regualrly until the local elementary school let out for the summer.
ReplyDeleteHe will be a coward and not show after the 1st loss.
http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2009/05/five_birmingham_police_officer.html
ReplyDeleteTry out the video ... we could try this on the Salsa Shark.
That and he doesn't enable access to his profile...so should I really take a person like that seriously? Absolutely not.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI thought if you got to be over 20, they kicked you out of elementary school? They must have made a bammer exception.
ReplyDelete$5.00 says he has a mullet and a Nick Saban action figure doll.
ReplyDeleteWhen Saban Arrived
ReplyDeleteWhen Chizik ArrivedSee the difference?
The Tide is rolling. The Tigers are boo-hooing. All is right with the world of football.
Headed to lunch. Hopefully someone will take out the trash while I am gone.
ReplyDeleteSalsa- Where is Chizik in that video? Sorry, but you need to get your fact's straight before posting garbage.
ReplyDeleteSalsa Shark is Sensi's alter ego. That same post was just posted under his name and he removed it from the blog.
ReplyDeleteWe've been had!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTrue story (pardon the length):
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved to a country subdivision outside Wetumpka 16 years ago, there was a dog across the street that was barking in a threatening way at my then-expecting wife and young ElTurbo.
At one point, my wife was trapped in her van with this ugly Chow yapping at her. We hadn't lived in the house a week yet.
The dog looked like a stray, but did hang out at the woman's house that lived there.
The next day I was talking with my next door neighbor about it and asking about the woman who lived there. She worked long hours, and I hadn't met her yet.
My next door neighbor said he would go to speak to her, seeing as it wouldn't good to meet her under such difficult circumstances. I didn't ask him to do that, but I thanked him for volunteering.
Later that day, in the early evening, ElTurbo is watching out the window and says Mr.------- "is going across the street." I stopped to him knock on the door, and turn around when it is unanswered.
A minute or two later, ElTurbo says again "Mr. -------- is going across the street." I think nothing of it.
BLAM!
I raced to the window to see my next door neighbor scoop up the carcass of the newly dispatched Chow and toss it in the back of his El Camino that had a "Caring People Care for Animals" bumper sticker and drive off.
When he returned he said, "That dawg needed to go. He was threatening your wife and little boy, and he kept taking a dump in my yard. I'd had enough."
I'm wondering where my old neighbor is now. Not really.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou guys do realize that Carl is actually a rational human being who just posts this stuff to get your annoyed reactions, right? He lobs nonsense then comes back to check on the stuff he stirred. He is not trying to convince you of anything, he is just trying to get you annoyed.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind him, he says funny stuff from time to time, he is raped by St Bernards, and he obviously makes the post count jump. But just saying, it seems like some of you kind of go all al.com and try to defend the honor of Auburn to him. That's kind of silly, if you ask me.
I like your predictions Salsa.
ReplyDeleteJet, that's an awesome story.
ReplyDeleteSeanZ ...
ReplyDeleteAs I said, every bit of true. And there's a second chapter, but I'll save that.
you're silly
ReplyDeleteand now Salsa's predictions vanish in a very Sensible manner.
ReplyDeletejet...
ReplyDeleteAwesome story. That is the stuff legends are made of. We all need a neighbor like that from time to time.
michael...
ReplyDeleteYou're so right. I have stupidly gotten into arguments with spewers before, asking them what they were trying to achieve. I came to realize that what they were trying to achieve was to piss me off and they had succeeded. I just don't respond any more.
Y'all, Salsa Shark is Mr. Sensible!
ReplyDeleteSay it ain't so!
ReplyDeleteFinkel is Einhorn
ReplyDeleteIf it Salsa and Sensi are linked together, then I say touche.
ReplyDeleteWho all was in on it?
ReplyDeleteIt makes perfect sense now that I think about it and actually quite funny.
ReplyDeleteJay had to be in on it.
ReplyDeleteNot sure, Sean.
ReplyDeleteBut he does work in Auburn and I did go to college with him which is why he comes on here and screws around.
He's not really that bad, save the one crazy day way back when.
Should read - Not true, Sean.
ReplyDeleteOk, explain to me why when those YouTube videos were first posted...they were under your handle?
ReplyDeleteAnd then not even a couple minutes later...those same hyperlinks are underneath Salsa Shark?
ReplyDeleteIt's cool Sean. SS is fun.
ReplyDeleteMy last post was to Eddie at 11:14. I was in a meeting until a few mins. ago.
ReplyDeleteHarrison, YOU ARE SILLY!
ReplyDeleteAnd Jet, I really want part 2 of that story.
"A Few Good Hotties"
ReplyDeleteSeanZ as Lt. Daniel Caffee
Mr. S. as Col. Jessup
Did you order the Salsa Shark?!
Haha, this is too funny...
ReplyDeleteI AM SALSA SHARK!
ReplyDeleteMichael ...
ReplyDeleteIt involves the confrontation when two other neighbor ladies on their evening walk discovering a trail of blood.
Ultimately, they waterboard me and I am about to rat out my neighbor when he shows up. Hilarity ensues.
I think it was Norm that provided link to "Did you expense the lapdance?". Flippin' hilarious.
ReplyDeleteJet, I want the essay version like part 1. I told you all the cooler story, it is the least you could do.
ReplyDeleteFor you, Michael, I will ... give me a little bit.
ReplyDeleteThis is most enjoyable reading upon my return from lunch. I like these "conspiracy theories" situations. Are Sensi and Salsa one and the same? Did Bobby Ewing die or did he not? Interesting.
ReplyDeleteehyou - Guilty as charged.
ReplyDeleteYou do know Salsa is loving this, right? Sean when you engage him it just keeps bringing him back. It's very al.com ish.
ReplyDeleteI thought some broad shot Bobby thinking it was J.R.?
ReplyDeleteIs Tupac still alive. Enquiring minds want to know.
ReplyDeleteWhatever, nothing I'm doing is al.com ish. I'm just telling you what I saw happen.
ReplyDeletetsk tsk tsk
ReplyDeleteAll I know is somebody's headin' to the office, and they gonna get spanked!
ReplyDeleteehyou I LOVE your new avatar!
ReplyDeleteJet - You have to wait your turn.
ReplyDeleteI believe you Sean!! conspiracy!
ReplyDeleteI also want part 2 of Jet's story
Flip it.
ReplyDelete