10.02.2009

First Post: Friday of Week Five

Hey everyone. Swell campfire last night. I love that we can get such great participate without a lot of notice. Thursday nights are alright for Campfiring®!

I'm pretty bummed about not being able to get to Knoxville until tomorrow. I wish the UT-bound HOTTIES could have convened for some casual dining on the river. So it goes. Calhoun's will be missed. Or Ye Olde Steakhouse. Or wherever Scottie was going to suggest.

Here's the Auburn situation at this moment:

TODAY'S STORIES

PREVIOUS STORIES

THE VIDEO VAULT

TODAY'S SCHEDULE
Not much going on today. I'll be taking call-ins tonight, chilling with Wifey this afternoon. May go to the Catholic-ACA game to see Fr. Troncale, college football fan. He's always fun.

Not much else to report. I'll be headin' up to Knoxville tomorrow morning.

Here's what the next few days look like. All times are CDT:

Fri., Oct. 2, OFF
Sat., Oct. 3, at Tennessee, 6:45 p.m. (ESPN)
Sun., Oct. 4, 5 p.m.
Mon., Oct. 5, OFF
Tue., Oct. 6, 4:30 p.m. (Chizik presser at 11:30 a.m.; some players available at 11:50 a.m.)
Wed., Oct. 7, 4:30 p.m.
Thu., Oct. 8, 4:30 (Tiger Talk at 7 p.m.)
Fri., Oct. 9, OFF
Sat., Oct. 10, at Arkansas, time TBA (network TBA)

Also, please pick up the Advertiser's print edition if you live around here! Our fine Auburn coverage is only one element of our award-winning product.

391 comments:

  1. oops...WDE...off to good ole Rocky Bottom land in 2 hours!!!

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  2. ...and yes, the 1st post had substance...

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  3. Calhoun's is good eating. I miss it.

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  4. ...it was just misspelled substance so I deleted it ;-)

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  5. UcheaT is going down...

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  6. that's the plan Faker, that's the plan.

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  7. uh maize ing substance

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  8. Jays are everywhere! WAR EAGLE!!!

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  9. What kind of moron would delete a first post?

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  10. I advise almost nobody to D.W.I.D.

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  11. WDE to you THT...can't believe you guys let a 'newcomer' grab the top of the post spot on a game weekend!

    I've posted under different handles before, but very rarely...been reading for a couple years--before the switch to the Advertiser site, and then to this site even.

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  12. That's really FAH when you can delete a post and then still get in two more before anybody else.

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  13. It's official, LaGarrette Blount wasn't really suspended for the whole year. He'll play again. On the compassion front, Chip Kellly > Roger Goodell.

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  14. Big Snacks, I deleted it...mistyped...was able to recover and put an appropriate post before anyone else snagged the spot!

    Guess I'm the new FAH!

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  15. PPL + McCalebb = Jay 'W. not Tate' fast

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  16. Speaking of suspensions, anybody have any inside info on Byron Isom? Last I heard, it sounded like he would not play. Sorry if I missed any posts related to this.

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  17. I don't get the Oregon deal. Why not just say indefinite suspension instead of season suspension.

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  18. FAH is not arrogant. I call shenanigans....and my post was a self depreciating joke.

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  19. Jay G, we'll be rollin' on the river outside Calhoun's tomorrow. holla.

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  20. I hereby declare the first comment in a thread to be post of shame.

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  21. What time are you guys going to be there tomorrow Scottie?

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  22. i'll be there no later than 10am. probably earlier. most of the posse will be there by noon. ET of course.

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  23. PF - sounds like you want me to post first every time.

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  24. THT2.0 - if you happen by and see this, try google message again. I'll try to be looking more carefully.

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  25. You're depreciating, PF? I'll pass on to all those people who don't read your posts that they have even less value than they did previously. ;)

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  26. I hadn't considered that, THT, but you might be the best we have. The prestige and pride from the 88 post might balance out the shame of post 1. It would provide balance that the HABOTN is lacking.

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  27. just trying to get a couple laughs 'Big Snacks'...that's it man...I actually thought the posts were funny myself. There's nothing I do that is as fast as 23.

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  28. Good catch, Choco. Yes, I have a contra-asset account that stores the lost value of my posts, and I expense out the cost of me HABOTNing while I should be earning.

    THT, I found your missing vowels. They're appearing in my post.

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  29. You lost me, Jay-dub. Michael will find me, though, probably wandering amongst his goats, and return me to wherever I need to be.

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  30. PF - you're gonna be in hot water with the Queen of Habotn if he finds you near his goats... which we won't ask him about.

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  31. Nice, PF. Unfortunately, that reminds me that I should be QuickBooking instead of HABOTNing right now.

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  32. Good DWWD article, Jay. I am sold on DWWD and have been since before I ever heard of it. I have long had the belief that it is the ability of coaches to get the players to correctly execute and offense is much more important than what the offense is. Spurrier wasn't great because of the fun and gun, he was great because he could get his players to execute it. It is why I am not so into what offense should be installed. I am purely interested in coaching and how they are able to get players to execute the offense.

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  33. Spurrier was great because he was the 1st coach at Florida to realize that if you market the school properly it pretty much recruits itself.

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  34. My guess is that Isom plays and I do like the indefinite suspension concept.

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  35. PF, don't touch my effin goats! If you are in the field with them, go to the phone both in the middle of the field. Get in it, close the door, and dial 6766. When someone answers and asks you what the weather is like, say "the perfect storm with george clooney". He will give you further directions

    If you did touch a goat, open the phone book in the phone booth to page 56. Scratch and sniff the part of the page between "Barlow, Jerry C" and "Beatty, Ned J". This is the antidote.

    Don't ask me about my business.

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  36. Recruiting doesn't necessarily translate to winning.

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  37. What if the goat he touched had a scarlet letter on it?

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  38. Are you calling me a goat, Scott Chocolate?

    You know mond made me put on the scarlet letter. Do I have to wear it forever now?

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  39. Is it a scarlet letter tattoo?

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  40. I misread that as elfin goats. I was beginning to think Michael's bidness is pygmy goats.

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  41. Does the phone booth look like a British police box which takes you to other dimensions of time and space?

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  42. I never said recruiting = winning.

    I just said Spurrier was the first Florida coach to properly market the school to players that could help him build a winner there.

    People used to call Florida "the arrogance of USC with the tradition of South Carolina" until Spurrier got there.

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  43. Michael,
    i would really like to see inside your brain and see how it works. It is fascinating!

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  44. Cincy,

    If there are enough people interested in the inside of Michael's brain, I think for the right amount of money I can set up a tour for everyone.

    However just know that you'll never be the same.

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  45. I imagine a phone booth scene akin to the original Get Smart series opening. Seems right up Michael's alley.

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  46. "the tradition of South Carolina"

    OUCH!

    BTW, as of this moment, South Carolina is a whopping one game above .500 in their illustrious football history

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  47. Does that mean it's safe to assume that Monica is not tending to your goat herd?

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  48. Hey everybody, shameless plus time again from my bro's blog. He posted this earlier, but I wanted to post it again. It's an depth perspective from a UT fan heading into the game. My first time linking, so hopefully I do it right. If not, feel free to channel your Jimmy Fallon and say, "Move!"

    A Tennessee Fan’s Perspective

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  49. Careful Scott. You know she's lurking.

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  50. I can plead ignorance. I'm not even clear on what happened to cause her to leave. I must have been absent that day.

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  51. Speaking of leaving - where's Luv? Did something happen with her in one of my out of town and away from HABOTN weeks recently?

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  52. 1,000 students -- kindergarten through 12th grade -- armed with thunder sticks, party horns and kazoos for the Homecoming pep rally -- all shoehorned into the gym. Praise the Lord and pass the Advil.

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  53. Norm - Luv had invited Monica to attend AU/WV game long before Monica departed HABOTN. Monica left HABOTN right before WV game and Luv has been awfully scarce since that game :-(

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  54. That's sad. It's just supposed to be a fun place to come and goof off and talk about Auburn. Feelings really shouldn't get hurt.

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  55. cincy - I would love to show you the inside of my brain, but I think that would be fatal unless we used some type of radiographic method (of which Luv is an expert on... wherever she is). I am not sure how much this would reveal about me, except there is a formation of blood vessels in my frontal lobe that seem to spell "beef"

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  56. That's around the last I can recall seeing anything from Luv. Just wasn't sure if there'd been another "official" departure that I didn't know about.

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  57. PF was a pretty big a-hole to Luv a few weeks back. He does that from time to time. 'bummer, you should have some sort of disclaimer in your posts about how you are an a-hole to everyone, and you're really not picking on people or anything.

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  58. Michael - clearly, you don't recall Ray Liotta and Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs Part Deux.

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  59. I absolutely recall the PF/Luv exchange and said he needed to take that comment back as it was uncalled for. I'll blame Snacks for the lack of Luv now.

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  60. Yay! I got PF blamed for Luv leaving, though I have no evidence of it.

    He's a witch! BUUUUURRRNNN HIIIIMMMM!!!!!!!

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  61. I take this stuff very personal. One wrong word and it's splittsville for me.

    *Sarcasm alert*

    I second RK's sentiment.

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  62. burning witches is one of my all-time favorite things to do

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  63. i needed a good laugh MJT.

    PF as a witch. nice. or is he a warlock? hhhmmm.

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  64. yeah but she is a woman, and women tend to have those things they call "feelings". I do not understand them

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  65. Women: can't live with them, and they can't pee standing up. (that's a quote from a favorite mmovie of my youth, Major League 2)

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  66. I'd like to issue a standing apology to anyone I may offend in the future. I didn't mean to do it.

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  67. I'd like to issue a statement: you guys are a bunch of idiots.

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  68. Rube Baker? Is that you?

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  69. I've learned that witches are better if you cook 'em slowly like barbecue.

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  70. Michael, can I borrow Kristina to spread the disclaimer after my posts? I think we need to add "Frankenbummer was likely joking" to it, though. I'll pay $.014/week for the service. I'd do the whole 14 cents amount, but I figure she'll still be working for you, and this will just be a small part of her job.


    I stand by whatever comments I made, including any possible ensuing apologies for being generally grumpy. Just remember that witches are rarely an a-holes to someone that doesn't start in on them first.

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  71. FYI, Jack Parkman is a huge Vol fan in real life. The women love him.

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  72. That's true jet, witch meat is super tough

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  73. Michael, I'd like to kick you in the teeth.

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  74. I would like to issue a standing apology for the lack of apology that would follow anytime that I have offended anyone in the future.

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  75. sucka!! Michael ain't got no teeth

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  76. Well, I have previously forbidden Kristeeniha from taking other jobs, but since it is for a friend... sure, you can borrow her.

    And I know you are trying to use the witch metaphor to say you aren't combative unless provoked, but don't witches search people out to be mean to them? You know, go capture kids and put them in ovens and such? Just questioning your metaphor logic, thats all. Don't be offended and leave forever.

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  77. Anonymous1:54 PM

    It is official. I am in TN!! In Sevierville? No idea, just know that it is a cool cabin and with the family.

    533 miles.

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  78. Stolen from a friends facebook post...

    Somebody please tell me they have seen the Captain D's commercial about their new ribs. That dude singing freakin cracks me up......Fall off that bone baby!!!

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  79. Yeah, Harrison's right. I have a family history of teeth cancer so I had them removed at a young age.

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  80. Peter,
    I don't want to take business away from Kristina, but she already has a job. I need to make some money really quick. So could you post a bunch of times and be really mean, so I can apologize for you? I will do it for $0.013 per answer. I only have to answer 77 times to make a dollar, so only about 28,875,000 times to buy my condo. I'm hard up for money.

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  81. My teeth, not my family. I did not have my family removed at a young age. At least, not to avoid tooth cancer anyway.

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  82. You know, witches get a bad rap. You think that witch sought out hansel and gretle? Not likely. Those kids broke into her house and were trying to steal her junk. She was a hermit that lived by herself deep in the woods.

    You think the wicked witch woke up one day and pegged dorothy? Nope. Dorothy brutally murdered her sister. She was just trying to bring a smidgen of justice into the world.

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  83. So by the term "wicked witch" they mean "wicked good" and she was just from Boston?

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  84. That's a little more than I wanted to pay, but in the spirit of the economy, I think we can work something out Cincy. You're hired.

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  85. Cincy, I believe Harrison can supply you with some information about making money in the gas business. If memory serves, the going rate is $3.75. That's a heck of a lot more than you're going to get from PF.

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  86. come by and see us tomorrow AU1! :)

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  87. OK, Peter apologizes to Hansel & Gretel and to Dorothy for slandering them in his previous post. 1 down, 28,874,999 to go. Condo, here I come!

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  88. SC,
    Maybe I can come make chocolate?

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  89. Scottie, you're a failure. You should experience the shame that only comes from a first comment.

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  90. Perhaps, but if you do, I must have some assurance that you are not concurrently working for Harrison. PF would probably be okay.

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  91. I tried to email Luv, but her email address is no longer valid.

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  92. If you had issued a separate apology to Hansel Gretel and witch you would have 3 down. I knew a wiccan once...she was actualy HOT!

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  93. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  94. SC,
    I'm afraid that probably wouldn't work as I would eat more chocolate than I made. I am a chocoholic. But I am not working for Harrison, gas is too smelly.

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  95. yeah I may have to drop the prices of my farts. They're just not selling at $3.75. In fact, I have given many away for free and by accident

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  96. Roland,
    You are too smart. Can I work for you?

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  97. i had never heard of a Wiccan.

    goddess worship....interesting.

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  98. Harrison, that's a big part of marketing. Keep doing what you're doing, but just try varying your diet a bit.

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  99. Anonymous2:08 PM

    Scottie B where will you B?

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  100. I bet I know someone who knows how to reach Luv. And I ain't talkin bout PF Snacks Frankenbummer.

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  101. Do you think the Iowans have taken Luv hostage?

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  102. well, ScottieB, at least the intent was there.

    I guess I'll just have to quit my day job so I can devote full attention to honoring The Human Deer.

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  103. we'll be at Calhoun's on the River. going to set up an orange/navy tent in a grassy area at the end of the parking lot. that's the plan anyways. look for the people wearing shirts that say NO DROPS! :)

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  104. Anonymous2:17 PM

    At what time?

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  105. You know, if I died, none of the Hotties would really know. About 3 weeks later, you would all be like "What happened to Michael? Someone must have pissed him off!"

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  106. I like it that way, that way there is no questioning.

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  107. I knew a Wiccan once too. I couldn't tell if she was hot or not because she always looked like she just got back from Bonnaroo.

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  108. I dated a girl once who decided that she was a Wiccan, then lost interest.

    Apparently there is a trial period or something.

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  109. AU1, just sent you an email. between 10 & noon. someone is going to drop me off i the morning down there so i'll be there earlier than that.

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  110. I just got to chat with THT2.0 via Google! That made me happy!

    She's still loving Florence and is travelling this weekend with some of her classmates. But first she downloaded the HABOTN posts to her laptop to stay entertained and to preserve her broadband quota.

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  111. Scottie, we may happen by your Calhoun's campout. I'm at the mercy of my clan though, I may be overruled.

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  112. OK PF, after reading your view I think I see the witch parallelism. Witches are known for escalating thing. If you wander too close to her house, instead of chewing you out and making you leave, a witch tries to cook and eat you. True, she was wrong first, but she just went a tad bit over the top with her retribution.

    When someone disagrees with frankenbummer, he takes it up a couple of notches and attacks their intelligence and value as a human being, much like a witch would do. BUUUURRRRNNNN HIIIMMMMM!!!!

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  113. that's a good idea to download the comments & read 'em later. that's a smart gal.

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  114. cool Sean. it's not the easiest place to get to b/c of the lack of parking but if you get down to the water please stop by.

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  115. Anonymous2:24 PM

    Ok, I just replied. Thanks all.

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  116. So PF has made his way into the idiot club...you know the one I started when I ran off Macho Grande?

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  117. Wiccans are fun in their own way.

    The most fun people I've hung out with are Sikhs.

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  118. did I do that? I don't remember. I'm sorry. I'm a mean, horrible person.



    Humans have value.....$5.99/lb

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  119. I know a Wiccan, too. She is not hot. I think she also worships Little Debbie.

    I also knew a Roland while I was at AU. He was my brother's cat. Roland, you didn't get neutered at the AU Vet School back in the early 90's, did you?

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  120. Sean, if you think PF is in your club, you must be an idiot!

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  121. oh wait, that was already established. I must be one, too.

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  122. no, he wasn't neutered, but he did have a Thompson gun for hire.

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  123. you know who i think's an idiot..shia lebeauf

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  124. I think Luv posted for quite awhile after the 'bummer incident in question... so I don't think he is worthy of joining the idiot club.

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  125. ...and THT gets his Warren Zevon reference in. This particular Roland ended with his parts gone on the other end.

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  126. there was no incident. Ya'll be trippin up in hurr. I'm out.

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  127. I hereby declare that if you don't appreciate Warren Zevon, you don't appreciate good music.

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  128. I remember at one Dirty Santa party the gift du jour was a membership card bestowing full membership and all the benefits pertaining to said membership in the "Idiots' Club." Ah good times.

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  129. Odds of me getting a reply to the email I just sent to the-one-who-isn't-here stating:

    "Where did Luv go? The Hotties are wondering why they haven't seen her around."

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  130. This should be interesting.

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  131. Does not compute.

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  132. Auburn analysis/preview coming up after the commercial on College Football Live on ESPN.

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  133. PF, tell us what they say.

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  134. ok, hotties. i've got to run to prep the house for an AU invasion. my internet is down at the house but i have email on my phone so if anyone needs to holla tomorrow just send me an email and i'll get back with ya.

    BEAT THE VOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  135. Todd Blackledge of ESPN:

    Auburn is little under the radar

    we'll know more after this game

    Auburn's offense has looked great and exciting

    ..but Tennessee's defense is really really good

    first game on the road for Tigers

    new challenge for new team

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  136. I just realized I could be an ESPN analyst. He didn't say anything that hasn't already been said. He's a compiler. I can be a compiler. And I have a closet of fancy neckwear.

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  137. But can you do Taste of the Town? That's what separates TB from most.

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  138. That boy can put away some food.

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  139. I hope "new team" isn't a big deal. The 2004 AU team was a confident team loaded with sr talent when they went to Knoxville. The current AU team is loaded with newbies. I fear the "deer in headlights" reaction.

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  140. Can I do it? You betcha. I've never actually seen it, but I've watched every episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, and I think it's essentially the same.

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  141. Dude I would rock Taste of the Town. I'm the best food taster I've ever seen.

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  142. Auburn analysis/preview for 22 seconds, then discussion about the top 5.

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  143. Todd Blackledge is creepy.

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  144. I would not characterized this team as loaded with newbies, at least not in terms of the starting line-up and skill position players.

    There are plenty of reasons that we will destroy Tennessee, drink their liquor, kiss their women, and pillage their homes. The easiest to see is to ask yourself which teams has the best excuse for losing?

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  145. Hotties - I'm out. Dinner with friends tonight, take the future 4* to Six Flags tomorrow and back to the house no later than 6 to get him fed and bathed so I can watch the game in peace.

    War Eagle and Keep Hate Alive.

    And remember, if anything unpleasant should befall you and yours, you can feel free to blame it on PF.

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  146. Auburn is unranked therefore irrelevant. Jerks.

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  147. Whenever I feel irrelevant, I just start screaming so everyone looks at me. Or I type nonsense if it is a blog setting.

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  148. ehyou, I think you mean irreverent.

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  149. The Vol's have one thing the Tigers don't....... Crompton...... That in itself almost guarantees an Auburn victory.

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  150. Is it too late to get Iowa on the schedule? That'd be great.

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  151. I have considered the possibility of Ioway in a bowl game, and it would be intriguing.

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  152. I guess I'll hang my hopes on the Outback Bowl.

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  153. Wonder if Nick Stephens will play at any point.

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  154. New Shimmer is a floor wax. No, New Shimmer is a desert topping. Relax folks, New Shimmer is a floor wax and a desert topping. Ummmm, great taste. And look at that shine.

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  155. I am pretty sure there is an analogy there somewhere. I just haven't located it.

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  156. I checked out Zombieland last night and laughed hysterically the whole time. Very funny movie.

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  157. Scottie!!! Got my cap! Hottieee Hooooooooo!!!

    Yeah its great, thanks for doing that.

    War Eagle! Beat UT! Kill the dawgs! Hate Bama!

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  158. Thanks Roland. It looks like one of those that could be very good or very lame. On second thought, that's true for every movie.

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  159. Can I bring my Canon Xsi Digital SLR into Neyland Stadium?

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  160. Matt...
    Whatever that is, it sound expensive. Some drunk Vol would take great pleasure in it's destruction.

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  161. It would probably blow their minds. Like when a caveman saw fire the first time

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  162. In a rare moment of seriousness I will tell you that video cameras are prohibited and "small cameras" are allowed.

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  163. Vols may be afraid the camera will steal their souls.

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  164. jeez ehyou, tone down the seriousness a little, will ya? After all, it's PUPPET HOUR! AAAHHHHH!!!1!!11111

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  165. Will there be any updates on the rumored puppets/cornpone war?

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  166. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/stewart_mandel/10/01/week-5/index.html?eref=T1

    SI picked against us! Aw hell, it's on now!!!!!

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  167. I don't know what a cornpone is. Are they allies or enemies of a puppet?

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  168. I'm pretty sure Luv was posting after Monica "quit," but I can't remember exactly.

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  169. Bowl projection ...

    Auburn vs. Iowa, Outback Bowl.

    Jay G as the Grand Marshal for the Outback Bowl Parade

    Steve FC as the Bloomin' Onion

    J-Z as the Alice Springs Chicken

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  170. If she did leave because of that, it's a shame.

    This really is not a hateful place at all. Monica asked me why I was "mean" to her and I told her that I found her "annoying."

    She asked. I told.

    That's the most hateful thing that's happened here.

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  171. Well, the SI guy was 4-6 on his picks last week and is only 20-20 for the year. He's also picking straight up instead of ATS.

    Anyhoo, I'm outta here! War Eagle! Beat the Vols!

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  172. I am pretty sure cornpones are enemies of puppets, but I am uncertain. The cornpones we had in here earlier in the week may very well have been puppets in disguise.

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  173. wait. who's annoying?

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  174. Annoying. Hmmm, now things are starting to come together.

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  175. Annoying is a matter of perspective. New Shimmer is a good example of perspective.

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  176. If ESPN has Iowa in the lowly Outback Bowl, where do they have Penn State?

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  177. So, was this a case of a pity party? I mean, I am pretty sure I have annoyed everyone in here at one point or another. Now, I could be offended, but I tend to just take it as a feeling of accomplishment.

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  178. Penn State goes to the Rose Bowl. It is a new tradition. They do it any time Iowa beats them. It is kind of a punishment.

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  179. Steve's Furry Cats has never offended me, no.

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  180. roflolcopter@ Steve's Final Collision.

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  181. for the life of me, I can't find a web page that lists all the "taste of the town" restaurants featured by Todd Blackledge. Can some Hottie Geek help?

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  182. Hey Jay, can I see a list of most annoying Hotties? I want to see if I made it.

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  183. Hey, THT, weren't you the Cabos fan?

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  184. I told MonD that I thought MonD was annoying.

    I like Luv.

    Sorry for the confusion there.

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  185. THT...
    I'm convinced said list doesn't exist. I think you've got a new project.

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  186. I'm annoyed. I want the TOT list!

    I'm probably also annoying.

    yes, PF, I don't know if I'll ever go to T'hassee, but if I do, that's where I'll eat.

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  187. I like mond. Did you have a problem with her being around Jay, or are you accepting of annoying hotties as well?

    Also, anyone remember the old Conan O'Brien sketch where a guy bangs two empty water jugs together and repeatedly says, "I am not annoying"? I used to do that from time to time.

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  188. I think Todd Blackledge should shake things up and eat in a homeless shelter one of these days.

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  189. Jay G,

    I loved the article. However it did read a little to me that there was quite a bit of difference in what DWWD means. Is that by design or do they really understand what Chiz means by it?

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  190. I thought MonD was okay. I really haven't got annoyed with anyone on here, even cornpones. Maybe I am just thicker skinned. I was hardened by years of al.com forums. That being said, I don't find Jay intolerant. It sounds like he may have just been being truthful. Don't ask a question if you aren't sure you want to hear the answer.

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  191. I hereby retract all questions I've asked on HABOTN.

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  192. Where would you rank Mon D's annoyability on the Longshore scale?

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  193. no offense to the fine posters on this page, but it's getting stale.

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