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8.07.2017

Yes, it's that time again

THT has alerted me to the fact you all are approaching 5,000 posts, which means it's time for a new thread. It would be my pleasure to create said new thread. Before I leave, however, I'd like to provide you a picture of the always-lovely Mariska Hargitay.

Have a nice day.

3752 Comments:

michael said...: It's definitely SFC. He has used some key words that match up.

I think he was always even handed/cogent as long as he wasn't under attack. Maybe AUFC has mellowed at our old age and everyone will continue to get along? Or maybe not.

77 - Justin Time

3405 - even numbers are outlawed; 10:59 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: 0000222244446666888888888888888888888888

6/2406 - outlaws are cool; 9:55 PM
michael said...: Campfire was almost crazy last night, but THT and I just didn't quite get the timing right.

76 - Thatstha Spirit

3407 - The Great Whiteout devastates historic paintings; 10:02 AM
michael said...: Pretty sure Auburn is gonna lose on Saturday, by the way. Did you see that o line against Alabama St? Yikes!

75 - Hive Cecil

3408 - The Great Whiteout stands trial; 3:15 PM
michael said...: I tried to tell you all that Auburn would lose, but you just wouldn't listen.

74 - Ears Draco

3409 - The Great Whiteout goes to jail; 10:59 AM
E-Bro said...: I kind of expected that we would lose as well, but it happened in a different way, perhaps, then I was expecting, which is oddly encouraging.

3410 - The Great Whiteout was super white.; 2:20 PM
E-Bro said...: *than I was expecting.

3411 - Then and Than face off in a final battle.; 8:54 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I'm glad I whiteouted my score prediction. The season is in udder ruins. I blame the weather for misguided high hopes.

3412 - due to continued global warming, the temperature in Auburn on Sept 4 is above 100 degrees for the 99th consecutive year. Fans anticipate a 99th consecutive losing season.; 7:48 AM
michael said...: Who should we fire from 1.0? It is taking a long time to get a new thread. Someone's head's gotta roll.

73 - Salad Forkhandles

3413 - Auburn wins the natty!; 5:07 PM
E-Bro said...: Is there anyone here not in the Ring of Fire? They should be the first to go, obviously.

3414 - In equestrian!; 1:18 PM
michael said...: I'll peruse the Ring of Fire lists, cross check against the people who regularly post here, and I'll get back to you on that, EBro.

72 - Jousting Natty

3415 - Auburn wins jousting natty; 2:46 PM
bubbs said...: Don't bother, MJT. I've done the checking and it's E-Bro. He has to go.

3416 - Jousting season suspended due to COVID-92.; 11:11 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I've been busy. BUSY, I SAY!

I hope Tony Franklin gets a ring of fire on his bum.

I don't think Feng ever got in the RoF. I say give Feng a hot dog and be done with him.

3417 - not a bad odd number at all. People get rich from barfing for dollars when an anti-COVID-92 protein is found in vomit.; 6:36 PM
michael said...: We can't kick Feng out. He is literally the only dissertation expert I know.

Hey bubbs, what are you an expert in?

71 - Original Philly Cheesesteak (called "Chili" for short)

3418 - 20 year reunion for the class of 3398; 12:20 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I think I'm done with disserting. Feng needs to find a new market.

3419 - outfluenza pandemic; 4:07 PM
bubbs said...: Glad you asked, MJT. I'm an expert in jousting.

3420 - aroundfluenza pandemic.; 4:45 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: why do I keep getting stuck with the odd numbers?

3421 - overfluenza pandemic overshadowed by bubbs's Q-tip jousting performance; 5:17 PM
michael said...: We are doomed against LSU, and this team is gonna have a tough time making it to a bowl game.

The votes are in, and I am officially firing Feng from 1.0. I'm really sorry about this Feng, please enjoy your month's worth of hot dogs severance. I apologize in advance that they are those weird red $1 per pack hot dogs they have at Walmart, but we're on a budget here.

Not that Feng is taken care of, this should at least take the heat off the rest of us for a bit.

70 - Hotdog Red

3422 - underfluenza attacks the world's underwear supply.; 11:44 AM
bubbs said...: Being 4 games in, and having looked at the schedule again, I'm afraid I have to agree with MJT. A bowl game isn't guaranteed. Unfortunately for Harsin, that says more about the rest of the SEC than it does AU. We've fielded way worse teams than this in the not too distant past.

I'm guessing we had some left over hotdogs from the campfiyah. Question is, which one? Hope Feng isn't monching on a pack from 2016.

3423 - throughfluenza causes the world's goat population to shoot poop into the air.; 2:12 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Feng can choke on a 2016 hotdog just as easily as a 2021 hotdog. Looks like I've found my way to The Pit here, you bunch of negative ninas. I agree with y'all.

3424 - Poop shooting goats win gold, silver, and bronze in Olympic Poop Shooting. Due to a clay shortage, they are then put into service for the men's and women's skeet... poop shooting competition.; 2:47 PM
michael said...: What a bunch of negative nancies! Natty is in the bag! This team has all kinds of intangibles!!!!

69 - Intangible Sam

3425 - throughfluenza mutates and jumps to humans. It's effects are made even more noticeable since the world's underwear supply was eradicated in the underfluenza pandemic.; 10:59 AM
bubbs said...: The FPI has us at 7 wins, right now. I'm not sure I agree with their % chances on winning/losing most of the games, but that total seems about right. I don't see how we get past uga/bammer.

I guess not much has changed since the beginning of the season. 7 wins is par this season (on paper). We had to win at LSU to keep things on track. We did. I'll take it.

3426 - Rubber cork use for throughfluenza becomes a political debate. "Personal research" is at an all time high. Aboutfluenza takes hold. Many things are written.; 12:19 PM
E-Bro said...: After reading bubbs' post, I'm feeling better about our chances against UGA and Bama.

3427 - What?; 1:24 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: After reading bubbs's post, I don't feel any different. Maybe if he wrote about maps I'd feel something.

3348 - virologists are perplexed by betwixtfluenza; 2:32 PM
bubbs said...: I didn't mention it on 3.0 but I actually read that article on the fake map before you posted it, THT. Seems an open and shut case to me. FAKE!

But that could be said of most maps, really.

3349 - The much feared strain of betwixtfluenze, betweenfluenza puts half the population somewhere in the middle of life and death.; 3:56 PM
bubbs said...: Hang on a second. THT is spreading fake news! Our post count is off by 100, now.

3450 - behindfluenza rages causing everyone to be late and under counting.; 9:31 AM
E-Bro said...: What in the world is happening?

3431 - Order is restored.; 2:35 PM
michael said...: Is AUFC 3.0? I think it should be 3.1 since there was a HABOTN Pro Boards that existed for about a week until Jay G was threatened with legal action by the Montgomery Advertiser.

68 - Peaches Listeria

3432 - A memorial is set up for The Lost Years of 3428-3430. So much pain and agony, so much omnifluenza. Better not to speak about it again.; 11:43 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: This is HABOTNv3.0 (don't go messing with all those nice even post counts!). I guess the JayG ProBoard would be 3.1 or later.

3433 - 1412th anniversary of AU's stunning upset of GA.; 2:14 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I think JayG's Proboards never made it out of beta, so it was never officially named.

3434 - BoBo year leads to great big anniversary celebration of the exploits of Bo Jackson. Mike Bobo still wonders why he doesn't get a celebration.; 2:18 PM
michael said...: Jay G's Having a Blast redirects from habotn.com. It was his way of maintaining his habotn.com address without getting any trouble for MA. So technically it was after the shortlived HABOTN Proboard, concurrently created with AUFC.

I'll ask Feng how he thinks post 2.0 HABOTN incarnations should be numbered. Hope he isn't still mad at me...

67 - Leff Overs

3435 - Mike Bobo changes his name to Mike BoHerring and finally gets his celebration; 9:50 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: All I gotta say is Feng better use Arabic or Roman numerals or I'll be hopelessly lost

3436 - fishing bait shortage ends when a bazillion worms are found in one of those holes in space.; 3:07 PM
michael said...: How come you weren't at the campfire last night, THT?

66 - Tad Ghostal

3437 - The additional weight of all the worms causes the earth's orbit to move towards the sun. We're doomed if someone doesn't think of something!; 12:25 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I'm a lazy slacker, michael. I'm surprised you didn't already know that. I was busy working on the 2022 Buy More Sale calendar and lost track of time. I'll try to do better next week, but don't count on it. We have friends from Texas visiting then.

3438 - President Biden's ghost makes 20 hour/day fishing mandatory for every human on the planet, including those living in the desert. Not a great plan, but certainly not the worst by a Biden.; 1:05 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I think it's time for a big bowl of ice cream. I don't even have to look at the clock to know that. My tummy alarm tells me.

3439 - Greg Bowman still has a scar on his forehead from the dirt clod that hit him there in 1968.; 7:07 PM
michael said...: You had any good peaches lately, THT?

3440 - Anyone who has ever performed the "worm" at a dance party has been ejected into worm holes, bringing the planet back to a reasonable mass. However, now dance parties are desperately boring, which some say is an even worse crisis than being burned up in the sun.; 10:36 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Only if Yoplait peach yogurt counts.

3441 - oops, some were ejected into worm snake holes. Uh oh.; 9:28 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I think we can beat Ole Miss next week if we can score 3 second half TDs and win the turnover battle.

3442 - people finally realize that tapeworms are great for taping things.; 6:03 PM
michael said...: I think we have a good chance of beating Ole Miss if we focus on intangibles.

65 - Britches Samsonite

3443 - people realize army worms are great for arming things; 4:04 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I just can't seem to grasp the key to beating Ole Miss this week. I guess I'm focused. Go team!

3444 - Miserable failures ensue when roundworms are used for golf, baseball, basketball, and soccer. Yet, they are surprisingly well suited to lawn bowling.; 6:11 PM
michael said...: Still nervous about this Ole Miss game.

64 - Paul McCartney

3445 - Grandpa uses a tapeworm to record everyone opening their Christmas presents.; 10:09 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: One day I think we're going to beat Ole Miss, the next day I'm not so sure. The agony of having to wait til game day is killing me, hopefully only figuratively.

I can just here Mike Lange proclaiming after a Penguins goal, "Does that goat sing, or what?!"

3446 - After thousands of years unsuccessfully trying to gain a foothold in the Phillipines chocolate candy market, Mars finally becomes the dominant player by substituting peanut worms for peanuts in Snickers.; 2:56 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: p.s. I got a hearty chuckle out of ol' Grandpa.

3447 - eliminating one step of baiting a hook, fishermen resort to hookworms, with generally disappointing results.; 2:59 PM
michael said...: We need to pick up the pace in this thread. We aren't even close to 5K!

63 - Tyrant Zozo

3448 - Auburn still preparing for the upcoming battle against Ole Miss; 9:30 AM
bubbs said...: Tell you what. This Ole Miss game is gonna be a wild one.

3449 - Puppet Hour returns.; 10:12 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I have enough trouble picking up my socks. And now you want me to pick up the pace, too? Ok, I'll try. Right after the Ole Miss game.

3450 - traffic lights in Chapel Hill are still not synchronized; 8:48 PM
michael said...: Can't believe no one posted about that big Ole Miss win! What a game!

Excited about the upcoming Texas A&M game! The boys have finally got things figured out, I think!

62 - Treehugger Jezebel

3451 - USA team again fails to medal in the Synchronized Traffic Lighting event at the olympics.; 12:06 PM
E-Bro said...: Are you guys a bunch of buffoons? The Ole Miss game was weeks ago and we've already lost to A&M since then.

Expecting a good bounce back effort against Mississippi State this next game, though, especially with how well the defense played in College Station. I think that unit is finding its groove.

3452 - What?; 2:30 PM
michael said...: I can't believe we just lost to South Carolina!!!!

61 - Trashcan Blowhole

3453 - That's what!; 10:05 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Trashcan Blowhole, now there's a name I haven't heard in a while. Did you name that goat after my second cousin twice removed (and returned once), or just a coincidence?

3454 - COVET-19, the virus everybody wants; 11:21 AM
E-Bro said...: How we went from losing to South Caroline to beating Bama is something I'll never understand, and I DON'T CARE! WAR! DAMN! EAGLE!

3455 - Warmest year on record.; 8:48 AM
michael said...: GIVE HARSIN AN EXTENSION! WHAT AN IRON BOWL!!!!

60 - Unfounded Accusation

3456 - Coldest record on year; 10:57 AM
michael said...: What a disappointment of a bowl game that was.

59 - Chance Streetcar

3457 - Baby it's cold outside; 3:38 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: adfjk;dfjkl; uiopdfjl;g
encrypted name of AU's new OC

3458 - baby brought inside before succumbing to hypothermia; 2:20 PM
michael said...: Seanzie said one of the threads on AUFC reminded him of 1.0, as if 1.0 was extinct. Doesn't he know how vibrant this place still is?

58 - Vibrant Skeleton

3459 - 1.0 is still vibrant.; 12:05 PM
E-Bro said...: Maybe Seanzie is from the future where it IS extinct. Oh, God!

3460 - No Seanzie here, which means 1.0 continues to be vibrant.; 4:57 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Hv1.0 extinct. ROFLMAO!!!! As if!!!

3461 - Hv1.0 gene FDA approved. Who needs computers!; 8:44 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I may have spoken too soon. Well, I didn't actually speak; I typed. Can one type too soon? This place is teetering on extinction right before my very eyes.

3462 - Big Pharma that developed the Hv1.0 gene goes bankrupt; 2:30 PM
michael said...: I've been busy!

No excuses for bubbs and Ebro though. They've really failed us.

57 - Teetering Extinction

3461 - A war is fought with LASERS!!!!; 2:35 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: LOL @ bubbs and Ebro. Ain't that the truth.

I hope that goat ain't dead yet.

3462 - a war is fought with TASERS!!!! Pacifists are stunned!; 7:29 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: michael tricked me.

3465 - despite the efforts of the FBI, CIA, KGB, Interpol, etc etc, 3463 and 3464 can't be found and are declared dead.; 10:25 AM
E-Bro said...: Man, I was in Hawaii. They don't have blogger there. Who knew?

3466 - Blogger comes to Hawaii.; 4:23 PM
michael said...: This thing still on?

56 - Chester Doodads

3467 - Ebro's descendants bring blogger to Hawaii; 4:27 PM
michael said...: API is thinking about inviting more people to 4.0. Should we invite more people to 1.0?

55 - Discrete Explosion

3468 - AUFC Membership Drive results in 1,0023,34,334 new members; 11:42 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I think we should invite only AUFC celebrities to 1.0.

3469 - 1.0 membership drive results in... nothing.; 11:54 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Figured I better get one more post in here before we lose power from the ice storm that's brewing.

3470 - cocococoldededest year on record; 9:39 AM
michael said...: Surprised you would show your face in here. Might be the stalest place on the internet!

54 - Stale Bread

3471 - Arctic Blast!; 2:31 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Technically, I showed my ass. HEE HAW!

3472 - In honor the 1500th anniversary of AU's greatest ever Iron Bowl victory, every AU fan puts a Punt Bama Punt sticker on their teleporter.; 11:57 AM
michael said...: Reminds me of how you could say "ass" in church as long as you were talking about what Jesus rode in on. What a loophole!

53 - Loophole Smith

3473 - So much dancing!; 2:50 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: the interwebs are full of nonsense lately. Thank goodness we have Hv1.0 for factual news. I saw a news story on here the other day that said bubbs is still waiting for an invite to the Ring of Fire. Factcheckers confirm the validity of that report and all news reported on Hv1.0.

3474 - 1500 years later, we still know Thomas Gossom was victim of pass interference or some similar type infraction.; 10:17 AM
michael said...: It's crazy how much misinformation is out there. You go around the internet, and if you didn't do good research on Hv1.0, you wouldn't even know that I was the King of Eurasia.

52 - Crown Lerpiss

3475 - Blackberry phones are popular again!; 1:40 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: One week until a big letdown or abundant Euphoria on NSD22.2.
I finally did a wordle in 3 tries. It's getting boring.
I think the King of Eurasia should invent a game with higher stakes.

3476 - after millennia of erosion, the latest maps now label them the Appalachian Molehills.; 8:49 AM
bubbs said...: I leave for a minute, and this is the best you guys could do? Sad.

3477 - Yellowstone Super Volcano erupts. New mountain ranges are created. Cartographers plan to map the new areas when the dust settles in a couple years. Everyone hopes that tuscalooser will finally be removed from all the said maps.; 4:46 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: a "minute"? Your minutes are waaaaaaaaaay longer than my minutes. I wasn't aware you were living on the edge of a black hole.

btw, is this a safe place to post cat jokes?

3478 - still dusty; 12:20 PM
bubbs said...: I tend to consider myself on the "patient" end of the fan spectrum, but I can't remember the last time I was this cynical about the football program.

What do you call 10 dead cats, THT? ... A good start!

3479 - Cat jokes are outlawed.; 4:23 PM
michael said...: Natty is in the bag!

3480 - Dog jokes are outlawed.; 4:54 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Mercy, what an absolute mess. We will be football cellar dwellers for years and years. I'd be willing to wager that this still won't relieve me of the marital obligation of purchasing season tickets.

3481 - Statue of Harsin & Rane singing Kumbaya erected outside of the Rane-Harsion Dome.; 8:58 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Double mercy, how much bigger can this mess get? It's going to outgrow its blood supply and AU football program will become necrotic onthe inside.

3482 - Auburn Football 2021-2121: A historical perspective on a century of losing seasons is published and becomes a NY Times worst seller; 8:33 AM
michael said...: At least we're not bored! Norm and API must be making big $$$$ off all the website hits at AUFC.

51 - Markleby Spencerbomber

3483 - MJT still hasn't read the Auburn book because he doesn't really read books anymore.; 2:05 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 7:34 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: fl;;fjlsdkassu[weriotvmdfasdfIII

3485 - bottles outlawed; desert island strandees lose all hope.; 1:39 PM
michael said...: How come you deleted your post, THT?!

50 -Tiara Lerpiss

3486 - Aliens!!!!!; 1:54 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: well, somebody had to do it.

3487 - domestic dogs!!!!!; 1:51 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I don't trust the Lerpiss family. But I'll tell you what I do trust..

34BEASLEY!!!; 3:42 PM
michael said...: NCAA Basketball Champion Auburn Tigers! Woohoo!

3489 - The world peace brought about by Beasley lasts another year.; 2:32 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: NCAA Basketball Champion Auburn Tigers! Woohoo!

say it enough times and it will happen.

3490 - Peace in Our Time re-released and jumps to #1 on the charts.; 8:44 AM
E-Bro said...: NCAA Basketball Champion Auburn Tigers! Woohoo!

3491- Three years later, people are still mourning the missed chance of a BO/BEASLEY shoutout.; 4:57 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: 3 times obviously wasn't enough.

3492 - AU denied NCAA basketball championship as a result of a blatantly missed carrying/palming violation.; 9:53 AM
michael said...: i'm tired

3493 - Tires are free; 3:08 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: maybe you should start a study of the effect of high dose amphetamines on long covid symptoms

3494 - tires are freed; 7:32 PM
michael said...: "it's OK officer. I am an official member of a one person unblinded study on the effects of amphetamines on long covid."

3495 - historians dig through all known human documentation looking for the rest of mjt's "Favorite Goats" list.; 1:11 PM
E-Bro said...: Still tired, MJT?

3496 - Historians find a note that says, "Never ask MJT about his business."; 1:27 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: a goat probably ate that list, and I'm guessing it ain't one of his favorites

hard to believe that 15 years ago today, JGT could start a new thread and get ZERO responses. My goodness, how times have changed.

3497 - it was an odd year.; 11:02 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: as is always the case, I enjoy coming to the NY Antiquarian Book Fair (with maps) and getting completely disappointed that I never find anything I'm looking for.

3498 - if THT had lived until this year, he still wouldn't have made a purchase at the NY book fair.; 7:48 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: NHL season ends at end of April. Pens & Preds have one thing in common... they won't be playing hockey after mid May.

BOGRETZKY!!!; 8:55 AM
E-Bro said...: It's been a bummer to not have the NHL and NBA playoffs overlapping like usual for wall to wall playoff action. I guess we'll get that next week, but the muscle memory with the remote has had me changing channels expecting to see playoff hockey but alas, only the NBA is on.

3500 - Something of note happened, probably, but it is lost to time.; 10:24 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: NYC finally has "tap to pay" on subways. No longer have to keep track of metrocard. It's set up so you don't have to confirm with face or passcode, so it is very fast. I'm there at most once per year, but it was still a great convenience.

3501 - Port Authority goes out of business when NTSB allows use of personal teleporters.; 3:48 PM
E-Bro said...: Finally? Is this something all big cities have? I thought it was revolutionary when I visited NYC last month. Guess I've been stuck at home or been in the woods too much the last couple of years.

3502 - Port Authority makes a comeback when the NYC seawall collapses.; 8:26 AM
michael said...: I've been to New York one time, and it was the week of the subway workers' strike. We did a lot of walking that week (and took one $80 cab ride across town).

3503 - Port Authority is taken over by Burn Thority, closes shop after a few months.; 9:51 AM
michael said...: Been enjoying the NBA playoffs. Grizz all the way!

3504 - Grizzlies win again!; 12:49 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Finally?? I don't know 'bout other places, I'm just like, "this was a no brainer; why did it take so long?"

3503 was a funny year.

3505 - no one is laughing now.; 7:01 PM
michael said...: There's really no way to know how any city is handling their frequent subway travelers.

3506 - A descendant of mjt writes some nonsense on a message board, and someone laughs. That someone is the very same mjt-descendant who wrote the nonsense, but still, it technically made someone laugh.; 5:50 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: You can't just call the Chief Subway Officer in each city and ask?

3507 - Spacetime is so well understood, it is required knowledge for admission to elementary school. Which is why a 2nd grader was able to determine that the laugh actually preceded the nonsense. It takes a laugh 9,164 nanoseconds to travel from the sun to earth. Nonsense takes only 3 nanoseconds. I think this all sounds like nonsense. . See that? I actually laughed before I said "I think this all sounds like nonsense," but y'all didn't see the laugh until afterwards.; 12:31 PM
michael said...: Well now I know you're just trying to push my button's with preposterously large numbers and nanoseconds. I bet you don't even know what will happen in 3507!

3508 - After HABOTN 1.0 is re-discovered and all of THT's posts turn out to be true, "Tar Heel Tiger" becomes the new shorthand for someone who can tell the future, bumping Nostradamus out to a distant 2nd. "bubbs" becomes shorthand for people who want desperately to join an exclusive club but fall short, "Ebro" becomes shorthand for someone defined by their relationship to a more well known sibling, and "mjt" becomes shorthand for secretive, shady business people who also run a country.; 4:41 PM
michael said...: My Grizz won a good one last night. They do so many dumb things, they make it hard to watch sometimes.

3509 - PREDS and Grizz win championships.; 9:33 AM
E-Bro said...: Been a real "tempest in a teapot" feel to all their playoff games so far and I've absolutely loved it. Be interesting to see if Golden State's homecourt advantage is immune at all to the Grizz chaos factor. I hope not.

3510 - Avs and Nuggets win championships.; 3:26 PM
michael said...: I don't think that's the correct usage for "tempest in a teapot." You're lucky you don't live in Eurasia, where the sentence for misappropriating idioms is, of course, death.

3511 - Eurasians are still the most accurate idiom users in the world.; 3:34 PM
E-Bro said...: I've heard it both ways. The NBA playoffs aren't THAT big of a deal.

3512 - Eurasians wonder what good accurate idiom usage is without freedom.; 4:18 PM
michael said...: Can't tell you how many people I've seen on the way to Ostrich Death Pit, kicking and screaming, "I'VE HEARD IT BOTH WAYS!!!" It actually makes the whole thing even funnier!

3513 - Eurasians all say in unison, "MJT was the greatest Eurasian king of all time!"; 10:53 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I do miss Puppet Hour.

3514 - Eurasians are furious when their commemorative coinage is delivered. Instead of their great king on the obverse, they see the likeness of some long forgotten Idahoan goat herder.; 2:29 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Saw a NC license plate today and wondered if E-Bro had moved here: SURFOAHU

3515 - Historians discover a transcription error that led to the misnaming of Amarillo, TX. It was supposed to be Armadillo, TX.; 9:51 PM
michael said...: Do they have any living armadillos there? Think they send all their dead ones here.

3516 - Gorillapox!; 2:21 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Armadillos are just possums that look better.

3517 - CDC mandates that all gorillas must be vaccinated or be kicked out of the zoo.; 1:32 PM
E-Bro said...: Nope, that wasn't me, THT. I've only ever surfed in Kaua'i. If you see a license plate that says SRFKAUAI, then you'll know.

3518 - Rise of the Planet of the Apes.; 3:14 PM
michael said...: I have never surfed.

3519 - MJT has still never surfed; 10:51 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I used to do that body surfing thing all the time, completely oblivious to the possibility of spinal fracture/paralysis or getting eaten by a shark, or both. I don't anticipate ever being in the ocean again.

3520 - Eurasians caught misappropriating idioms, when given a choice between a firing squad and the Ostrich Death Pit exclaim, "WE'RE CAUGHT IN A PICKLE!" Sentence commuted. Unfortunately, turns out to be Irony Day and so they are executed.; 7:02 PM
michael said...: I'll be body surfing this time next week! or I will more likely be in a chair on the beach, but the body surfing is certainly a possibility.

3521 - The Ostrich Death Pit's lead ostrich kills the Irony Gnome and puts on his suit, thus becoming the first Irony Gnome Ostrich.; 11:22 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: The owner of this website (aufightclub.proboards.com) has banned the autonomous system number (ASN) your IP address is in (212238) from accessing this website.

This never happened when Norm was in charge.

3522 - THT's access to AUFC restored, 1500 years to late to do any good.; 10:29 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Turned off the VPN (which was connecting through Atlanta, not Tbilisi) and access was restored

3523 - All VPNs are routed through Atlanta, and no one has internet access. People actually wander outside.; 2:41 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: any of y'all coming to the map seminar in October?

that's what I thought. Your loss.

3524 - Daily map seminars during the Year of the Map.; 7:12 AM
michael said...: Can I Zoom into the map seminar?

3525 - zoom zoom zoom; 1:45 PM
michael said...: I guess not

3526 - doom doom doom; 11:36 AM
michael said...: I tell you what, it's pretty dang hot out there.

3527 - Hottest year on record.; 9:14 AM
E-Bro said...: My sweat is sweatin'. Going to play tennis in a little while. Light a candle for me. Pushed it back later than usual so that the courts are fully shaded.

3528 - Hey, that's a football score!; 4:29 PM
michael said...: Did you win your tennis match last night, ebro?

3529 - murder at the opera!!!!; 1:50 PM
E-Bro said...: Yes, but most importantly, I didn't die.

3530 - Somebody died.; 4:58 PM
michael said...: Are you happy with hockey, Ebro?

3531 - hockey outlawed.; 10:55 AM
E-Bro said...: Yes, because Florida shouldn't have hockey teams and Colorado definitely should. The Lightning should move to Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, or Pueblo.

3532 - Hockey ban lifted everywhere but Florida.; 11:21 AM
michael said...: Looks like Blue Bell gave their special listeria-flavored ice cream recipe to someone else.

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/listeria-outbreak-linked-florida-ice-cream-rcna36690

3533 - Listeria becomes president.; 11:27 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: yes, I believe you will be able to attend the map seminar via zoom... probably for a price, though months later I suspect it will all be out there for free.

Coyotes should move back to Canada. Quebec needs a team

35BO.; 4:29 PM
michael said...: Those darn frenchmen in Quebec don't deserve nuthin.

3535 - Go PREDS!!!!; 2:07 PM
E-Bro said...: Harsh words. Bet you feel like James Wolfe behind that keyboard.

3536 - GO AVS THEN GO PREDS!!!; 3:11 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Clark's Barbecue in Kernersville is top notch!

3537 - GO ANYBODY but caps, bruins, flyers, and rangers!; 11:19 AM
michael said...: If we're dead, does that that mean this is heaven?

3538 - Zombie bloggers attack!; 11:41 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: well, it's either that or West Virginia.

3539 - EMTs discover that Hv1.0 has a pulse!; 11:54 AM
E-Bro said...: Or Iowa.

3540 - Double tap method puts Hv1.0 down.; 1:37 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: or even worse, Florida or Louisiana.

3541 - ...but not out. Hv1.0 responds with a quindecuple, eliminating the threat. Thank goodness Hv1.0 had a magazine of the proper capacity.; 1:44 PM
michael said...: I wonder if Jet G. Ate will ever show up here again?

49 - Gizzard Footmassager

3542 - quindicuples outlawed; 3:41 PM
E-Bro said...: Valhalla is only for believers.

3543 - Warmest year on record.; 11:04 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: the sooner we get to 5000, the sooner we'll see Jay G

Speaking of gizzards... I used to have a few dinosaur gizzard stones I found out in Wyoming. My niece took them to show-and-tell about 35 years ago and I haven't seen them since. That remninds me, I wonder what happened to all my Matchbox cars that my mom "loaned" to a pseudo-nephew 40 years ago. The Jaguar was my favorite.

3544 - coldest year since 3543; 7:37 AM
michael said...: My dad put all my football/baseball/basketball cards in storage when we moved back in '98. They didn't turn up when he went into storage to grab stuff a couple of years ago. I'm not pleased!

Also, the book I wrote in 5th grade titled "Johnny Jaynocks and the Quest for the Golden Sock" is somewhere, but no one knows where. It was amazing.

48- Dinosaur Hopscotch

3545 - most temperate year on record; 11:29 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I only wrote one thing that was any good. A fable in 11th or 12th grade about Bubs the bear who had no hair and had no legs. I don't remember any other details or the moral of the story, but my English teacher said that she and her mother were in tears laughing so hard. Everything else I write is just crap, as evident by all my posts here.

Dinosaur Hopscotch, that's such a good name that I should have used it for one of my (non-goat) kids.

3546 - not as good a year as 3456; 1:47 PM
michael said...: Wow. so bubbs isn't even real? he is just a fable bear? That makes so much sense!

47 - Fable Bearabbus

3547 - Fables outlawed; 3:01 PM
michael said...: Also, I wrote a creative story in 6th grade that was so violent that my teacher made me take it home and get it signed by my parents.

46 - Violent Offender

3548 - it really wasn't that violent, just some mob guys chopping off heads and throwing them to sharks or something like that. Like THT's story, it was also a comedy. Just a different reception from the teacher.; 3:03 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Correction! The bear's name was Nubs.

That makes more sense. We all know bubbs is real... as in real far from the Ring of Fire.

3549 - michael posthumously awarded a Pulitzer Prize for his murder humor.; 5:19 PM
michael said...: hahaha! Someone tell bubbs to come visit 1.0 so he can see that burn. Maybe trick him and tell him there is an important RoF announcement that he would be interested in.

45 - Special Bulletin

3550 - michael returns the pulitzer prize because it wouldn't stop staring at him.; 10:41 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: that's cold, michael. Colder than the burn.

3551 - wildfires burn the polar ice cap; 12:27 PM
michael said...: bubbs hasn't posted here since the Harsin drama. Who does he think he is abandoning us like that? Sometimes people get what's comin' to 'em!

44 - Fred A. Stare

3552 - polar wildfires cap the burn; 1:31 PM
E-Bro said...: Shows how selective my memory is that when you said "Harsin drama", my first thought was, "What Harsin drama?" How many days, THT?

3553 - polar ice caps make the Ring of Fire before bubbs does.; 4:08 PM
bubbs said...: Man, MJT, if you need me to show up, just ask. No need to broadcast to all of HABOTN. I like how you make it seem how the Harsin drama was a one time blip. He's a dead man walking that needs miracles.

Welp. Guess I need to cancel the ice cream of the month club I was getting THT for his birthday. Sad.

3553 - Ice Cream of the month club brand a new product line of ice cream: "THT never tasted this."; 8:47 PM
bubbs said...: Et tu, E-Bro?

I guess the album of the month club isn't happening either. SAD!

3554 - THT still hasn't tasted that ice cream
3555 - THT XII drops his entire cone of "THT never tasted this" ice cream onto a rare map.; 8:51 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: LOL!!!! y'all are awesome!!!

I'm thinking of hiring a hacker to get bubbs's name on the ROF list, just so I can get a taste of that ice cream. We all know he's deserving.

3556 - Lichtenstein lobs their cow patties across the Rhine into Switzerland.; 9:40 AM
michael said...: So bubbs thought he was posting 3553, even though Ebro posted it nearly 5 hours before his. That tells me bubbs was work-shopping that post for about 5 hours. I bet THT didn't even spend that long writing his award winning short story about Nubs. Sad!

3557 - Ice cream maps are outlawed; 12:15 PM
bubbs said...: That's all I did yesterday, MJT. I poured over drafts for hours. Probably would have been faster if I had written it in VB.NET instead.

Clearly, the Nubs work was a masterpiece and couldn't be outdone regardless of time spent.

3558 - Ice cream lobby group can't decide if they're for or against their maps being outlawed.; 1:14 PM
michael said...: TJ Finley arrested. We're doomed!

43 - Ahtemptoo Elude

3559 - A lobby is filled with ice cream; 1:22 PM
E-Bro said...: Much like bubbs, bet TJ is Feeling the Heat.

3560 - Lobby floods from ice cream melting.; 3:14 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: A lobby filled with ice cream? Count me in!

Normally, I loathe writing (I scored 47 on one high school English class because I did not even attempt the 50 point essay). But that Nubs fable, it just flowed like cholera infested bowels. I hate I don't remember it.

bubbs feeling the heat? Only because it's summer. He apparently didn't arrive in time to Hv1.0 to even make it to the Notable Newcomers.

3561 - Deep freeze, lobby is again an ice cream delight.; 10:29 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: hallelujah, the Salem Money Pit may finally have a new driveway next week.

3562 - archeologists uncover the fragmented renmants of a very poorly installed driveway in W-S; 12:48 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I don't know what a renmant is, but it probably isn't a good thing.

3563 - archeologists uncover more fragmented pieces of a very poorly installed driveway in W-S; 12:50 PM
E-Bro said...: Still rocking along on with my Best Albums of the 70s list and a couple of observations...

More of a Neil Young fan than I was previously. I had really enjoyed some of his music I'd heard previously, but just hadn't really done a deep dive on him. I still don't love every album or even the albums I really like from front to back, but man, when Neil Young is at his best, he's untouchable. To my untrained ear, the man seems to have perfected the folk-rock sound.

I've long been ambivalent on Eric Clapton, and still am to an extent, but, "Layla" aside, the work on the Derek and the Dominos project was phenomenal. Not a big enough deal is made of the fact that he and Duane Allman essentially recorded an album together trading guitar licks.

3564 - 1700 year anniversary of Sherman's March is celebrated by reenacting as much of the march as possible, ending at Milledgeville due sea level rise.; 11:24 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Love me some Bell Bottom Blues. Speaking of Neil Young... reminds me of one of my favorite CSN songs, Southern Cross. That song may have never been written if Stills had orthodontics as a child. His crooked teeth kept him out of The Monkees.

3565 - South Carolina refuses to allow the Sherman March reenactors to cross the Sea of Savannah.; 1:49 PM
michael said...: Neil Young is great. Since I loved Pearl Jam in the 90s, I had to love him too because they were his backing band for Mirrorball (and he played with them on the "I got id" single). Loved Harvest and After the Gold Rush. Some of his electric guitar solos were a little rough on the ears though.

My Allman/Clapton loving dad went on and on and about the Duane/Eric combo, so I don't share your "not a big enough deal is made of" perspective on Derek and the Dominos. My dad always told me that "Derek" was meant to be a combo of "Duane" and "Eric," which apparently was an out and out lie.

42 - Howmany Roads

3566 - The supercomputer "Deep Thought" is created.; 5:02 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Do the people of the 36th Century name that computer after one of your goats?

Goat 42 reminded me of Harmony Rhodes, the great female vocalist who never existed.

3567 - Sea of Savannah freezes over; reenactment of Sherman's march continues, but most reenactors have deserted due to lack of interest and the big prize money available in the Savannah Ice Fishing Festival.; 10:53 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I like Allen Greene. This stinks.

3568 - Tuskegee Institute, in a long overdue move, erects statue of Allen Greene, memorializing the man who led them to NCAA I-A and the most natty's of any university in eastern Alabama.; 2:47 PM
michael said...: I never know how much to get worked up about ADs because I don't even know what ADs really do. But he seems like a nice guy, so it's sad. But he also fired Gus and replaced him with Brian Harsin, so not that sad for him?

3569 - Statues are outlawed.; 3:37 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Gus was getting worse. Options A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, and L all turned him down.

3570 - amendment to statute allows statues of outlaws; 8:05 PM
bubbs said...: I liked AG, but I also realize I'm clueless as to his real job performance. I think he'll be fine, regardless.

On the other hand, Harsin is probably not fine. I suspect the new AD will be hired based on his HC ideas for football... for better or worse.

3571 - A statue of bubbs is erected for busting into the ROF. Ironically, no genuine ROF member has a statue.; 3:00 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: probably right about the hiring strategy

statues? HA! As if genuine ROF members need them. We are our own monuments. That's right, we're Monument Men. Well, except for the women. They are obviously Monument Women.

3572 - The 1600th anniversary of PBP! Still the greatest Iron Bowl in history.; 9:41 AM
michael said...: Natty is in the bag this year

3573 - Anniversary of other stuff; 12:10 PM
michael said...: hey bubbs, what's your new job all about?

41 - Blood Inguts

3574 - Waffles are outlawed; 10:39 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I'm a pancake fan, so 3574 would suit me just fine.

3575 - More stuff is anniversaried; 11:09 AM
E-Bro said...: I like waffles and pancakes. French toast, too. If you can put syrup on it, I'm probably down with it.

3576 - The Byzantine States of America celebrate the 1,800th anniversary of the founding of its preceding republic.; 9:23 AM
bubbs said...: I'm shifting, MJT. I have an odd background where early on in my career I dealt heavily with customers. I then pivoted to development. A sister company of the place I was at, does software for large non-profits to track their donations/pledges/purchases (Think big preacher types, or sponsor 3rd world kid type orgs).

They needed someone who could regularly meet with customers that have service agreements. Find out what custom enhancements they need to the software (to fulfill pre-purchased service/programming hours). I'll then be creating or modifying sprocs to accomplish the enhancements for their individual environments.

As I'm sure you're aware, developers that can interface well with customers is atypical. Honestly, they approached me, and I wasn't all that interested. They offered a 20% raise, and my interest level changed. Here we are.

I'm skipping right past ya'lls menu items. I'll take a double order of hash browns. Scattered and peppered. Thanks.

3577 - Hash browns become the national dish.; 12:24 PM
michael said...: 20% raise? Must be cool to be filthy rich now.

Biden is about to pay for the rest of my student loan (about 5K), so I am about to be filthy rich too!

40 - Rich Filthy

3578 - All the forgiven debt is finally dumped... on some random guy named Bob.; 4:34 PM
bubbs said...: 20% of a dollar still ain't much, MJT. Funny how math works that way. At this point, I'm just filthy.

3679 - Bob looks for a support number for his credit report.; 12:32 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: "regularly meet with customers" sounds terrifying.

3680 - Poor Bob gets stuck in a real life "Groundhog Day", getting debt dumped on him day after day after day.; 11:29 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: If'n I'd been born in the 36th Century, I'd leave the BSA before accepting yankee food as my national dish.

3681 - Grits becomes the national dish of all non-yankee political entities.; 11:36 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I actually like properly* prepared hash browns, but if provided a choice, I'll always choose grits.

*bland with little or no pepper and, of course, without vile onions

I've learned to never pay attention to bubbs's calendar app

3582 - the space-time continuum is mended by stuffing hash browns into the fracture; 11:55 AM
michael said...: Who do we want to be the next head coach? Figure the 1.0 crew should all get on the same page before presenting our position to the rest of the world.

I love hash browns with lots of salt and pepper and onions and cheese, and some kethcup to dab em in. Thank you.

Grits are great too. My parents used to make terrible, tasteless grits, but my wife done showed me the light.

3583 - Hash browns without onions are outlawed; 1:47 PM
E-Bro said...: Honestly, my first choice is anyone but Freeze.

After that, man, I don't know. My preferred choice might be Kiffin, weird is that feels to type in 2022. Part of me feels like he'll always be something of a rogue coach who wins a lot without every winning the big one, but I'll take winning a lot versus not winning a lot.

I kinda doubt he views it as anything but a lateral given our BoT issues, but maybe he doesn't?

I like hash browns fine, I guess, but I'm with THT in thinking they are not in the same ball park as grits.

3584 - Hash Brown syndicate outlaws mills from making stone ground grits.; 3:15 PM
michael said...: Yeah I just have a hard time seeing Kiffin make the move. It would help if they have attendance issues at a couple more games this season. But among those who have been mentioned, he'd be my preferred guy.

I feel like it will probably just be some guy we've never heard of again.

3585 - Hash Brown his assassinated and his syndicate falls apart.; 5:43 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Pat Dye!

I just don't see the answer out there :(

3586 - Hv1.0 is still trying to come to a consensus on the next coach; 1:55 PM
michael said...: Has bubbs set a date yet on when he will give Hv1.0 his choice for Auburn's next head coach? We'll have THT mark the calendar and hold him to it.

3587 - Flying car designer Fitzgerald Sully makes his second flying minivan model. It's called the Sully Van 2...; 5:22 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: ...BEASLEY!!!

Served up on a tee nicely, michael

35BEASLEY!!!; 7:14 PM
michael said...: Auburn can't lose this weekend! Yay!

3589 - supermarkets are different; 11:51 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I've paid less attention to this college football season than to any other since the age of 1. Two reasons:
1. Up through this past weekend, we've just been crazy busy with other stuff, and
2. AU football sucks.
I guess that's understandable since we're a basketball school.

3590 - Archeologists are called to an Idaho potato mine where a relic from a past civilization has been unearthed. They determine that it is Goat #39's ID tag, but the tag is so rusted that they cannot decipher the name.; 11:10 AM
michael said...: You definitely picked a good year to ignore football. Although Harsin is about to turn things around, I just know it!

39 - Toisegihiaoljei Gijkfajlksfklafjkl

3591 - Treasure!; 11:24 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I don't know what Harsin is about to do, but I suspect he won't be doing it in 334.

Goat 39's name spelled backwards is lkjfalkfskljafkjiG iejloaihigesioT, which makes the hidden message in that name much less obvious.

3592 - Troves!; 2:36 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: Well there you go.

Coaching search will either start at the bottom of the barrel and end soon, or start at the top and get 37 rejections before some fool finally says yes.

Now let's all get behind our unnamed interim coach and see if we can't squeak out a win over the Hilltoppers in a few weeks.

3593 - Eur accidentally launches ballistic missiles on Asia. Ostriches are executed.; 1:22 PM
E-Bro said...: Fired Gus right after we faced Leach in 2020. Fired Harsin right before we face Leach in 2022.

What does it mean?!

3594 - Leach Illuminati is uncovered.; 3:04 PM
michael said...: I wonder if Mike Leach is related to Robin Leach?

3595 - Ostriches strike back!; 11:04 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: With all that Leach talk, y'all are reminding me of a scene from The African Queen.

3596 - More ostriches executed. When will they learn that launching ballistic missiles at the other side of michael's empire and going on strike are punishable by death in Eurasia?; 12:37 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I wonder if AU will hire Bill Clark. I hear there is mutual interest.

3597 - AU has still not hired Bill Clark.; 3:46 PM
michael said...: Wow you are right. This Bill Clark stuff is picking up steam!!!

3598 - Steam Powered Bill Clark robot terrorizes the masses; 4:58 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: hard to remember to post here since I don't use google account much anymore. I blame Bill Clark.
We saw some Virginia rocket launch at ~5:30 a.m. Monday as we were driving through Greensboro on our way home from W-S. It was pretty cool looking.

3599 - surprisingly, Rocket Man's fuse has still not burned out, and he's no longer alone. Rumor has it he's shacking up in space with Major Tom; 8:17 AM
michael said...: 38 - Slackard Slackswearer

3600 - There is a season; 2:16 PM
michael said...: So I actually already made a page turning post, but it disappeared. Weird.

3601 - Turn Turn Turn; 10:07 AM
E-Bro said...: Boom! Page flip!

3602 - Wait, what?; 2:45 PM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: ah, that new page smell... already getting a bit stale.

3603 - bowing to pressure from the equestrian woke mob, all statues of former football and basketball players are removed and placed in storage at Carnell Williams University.; 9:10 AM
Tar Heel Tiger said...: I'm tired of waiting. Who are the new OC and DC? And gimme some great recruiting news, not the recruiting finger.

3604 - Coldest year on record since the Big Freeze hit Auburn back in the 21st Century.; 12:46 PM