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11.26.2008

The HABOTN Heisman

Hey everyone. It's The Day Before Thanksgiving, which means the Jeu De Fer is only three days away. The HOTTIES have been hatin' for days already. Some of you almost seem frothy already. I'm glad to see it.

HEISMAN ARRIVES: My bribe money worked; I again will vote for the Heisman Trophy this season. I have no firm ideas about who deserves this award most. Anecdotal evidence (ie a short chat with Chris Todd yesterday) suggests that Texas quarterback Colt McCoy is the top candidate.

I'll definitely give the HOTTIES a chance to provide some input. This ballot isn't due until Dec. 10, so we have plenty of time to consider dark horses who may not be receiving much mainstream attention.

TODAY'S SCHEDULE: I made a strategic decision to stay home today. That means I will not attend Tuberville's mid-afternoon briefing. I figure it's all downhill after the hour-long chat he held on Tuesday. My parents are coming today. I gotta be prepared for that, too.

SOME INTERESTING NOTES:

  • 17 of the last 20 Iron Bowls have been decided by 10 points or less.

  • Auburn hasn't conceded a first-quarter touchdown to Alabama since 1996.

  • Auburn hasn't conceded a first-quarter offensive touchdown to any team this season.

  • Auburn ranks second among FBS teams (out of 119) in rushing touchdowns allowed: 4

  • Auburn ranks third among FBS teams (out of 119) in opponent third-down conversion percentage: 27.6%


FOR YOU MUSCHAMP LOVERS OUT THERE:
  • His Longhorns rank 110th among FBS teams (out of 119) in pass defense: 266 yards per game

  • His Longhorns rank fourth among FBS teams (out of 119) in rushing defense: 82 yards per game.

87 Comments:

Blogger Steve from Columbia said...

Oh, voting for the Heisman is very cool. I wouldn't have a clue who to pick.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

I want a run-down of what the HOTTIES are saying on the air.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

I called in yesterday to defend the "WV have no teeth" comment from Doug and to challenge the "mitigating circumstances" invoked by bama fans defending their 6 losses to Auburn.

Faker called in today to call me, Kristina and Hoopie bama fans.

1:53 PM  
Anonymous FSJ said...

Well.....I took issue with Josh's assertion that Saban is winning with Shula's recruits by saying that if he is doing this well with Shula's recruits that it will be scary when he fields a team totally comprised of his own recruits. Josh said even then the line wouldn't be as good. How he can see that far into the future, I have no idea.

Then I basically called out the Bama fans on this blog.

Finally I predicted a score of 24-14 Bama.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

Josh said I should call in more often.

Josh and Doug let all the callers know that FAker was a big liar for calling me a bama fan.

Just sayin...

1:54 PM  
Anonymous FSJ- Roundtable Star said...

Liar is such a strong word. I prefer to call myself veracity challenged.

1:56 PM  
Blogger WarEagleRK said...

Of course Auburn is also 119 out of 119 in redzone scoring this year.

I can't wait until this game gets here.

I'll be hatin' like Silky Johnson.

Hate hate hate hate

2:04 PM  
Blogger Aubie said...

In light of the big feast coming tomorrow, I wanted to pose a question.
Other than Oregon and Oregon State, are there any other state school combos (U of Blank and Blank State)where you can eat the schools' mascots?
Think about it.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

bradford is the guy for the heisman.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous atlantatiger said...

Sam Brodford....my pick.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

Forgive the length ...

Steve said late in other thread: where’s the love for Bama?
Steve, I love me some Bama.
I love HATIN’ ‘em.
Here’s my HATE manifesto: I want it all.
I wanna block two punts for TDs (72).
I want Mario to go over the top (82)
I wanna tornado warning (83)
I want Rod Smith to score on a reverse (86)
I wanna shut ‘em out and shut ‘em up (87)
I wanna safety (88)
I want us to go deep early for a big play (89)
I want Caudle to come off the bench to throw a TD on 4th down (93)
I wanna hear ‘em whine when the official rules Julio out of bounds in the end zone (95)
I wanna see the stupidest play call ever (97)
I wanna abuse their offense (00)
I wanna see Craig Stevens cover the QB and the pitch man on the option (02)
I wanna see Tristan go 80 on the first play (03)
I wanna see them so inept that their fans leave a close game (04)
I wanna see Sarah Jessica sacked 11 times (05)
I wanna see Saban mismanage a game (06)
I wanna see Jerraud do it again in the end zone (07)
… and I want to see us go for two up four touchdowns, only because the rules want let us go for three.

And I wanna HATE ‘em the whole way.

2:11 PM  
Blogger WarEagleRK said...

"Other than Oregon and Oregon State, are there any other state school combos (U of Blank and Blank State)where you can eat the schools' mascots?"

Oh the off color jokes you could make about eating Oregon State's mascot.

2:11 PM  
Blogger scott from tucson said...

aubie, a gator can eat a seminole--does that count?

2:12 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

Tez Doolittle for Heisman!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

People all over the world,
Join In
Join the Hate Train!
Hate Train!

2:18 PM  
Blogger Muburn23 said...

For Heisman..... is there really any question? CHRIS TODD!!!!

2:26 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

From now until Saturday, I hereby petition Jay G. that this be declared the HATIN'-EST Auburn Blog on the Net!

2:26 PM  
Blogger Steve from Columbia said...

Tebow has to be considered for the Heisman. No way Florida is where they are without him.

2:30 PM  
Blogger scottie b hatin bama in tennessee said...

TIMMY 'FREAKIN' TEBOW.

sorry, i've got a man-crush. sue me.

2:35 PM  
Blogger tracy said...

Just wanna join in on the bama hate fest before I leave work today.

Jay, I'd vote for Tebow. He runs, he throws, he does circumcisions...

2:36 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

When the Gators eat up the Tide in the SEC Championship Game (for Bama's second straight loss), will it be due to Mitigating Circumcisions?

2:37 PM  
Blogger scott from tucson said...

the hatinest auburn blog on the net--i like.

2:41 PM  
Blogger shesaid said...

Your honor, Exhibit B.

2:43 PM  
Blogger shesaid said...

Slow clap for the Hate Train! CLAP......CLAP.......CLAP.....CLAP.....CLAP...CLAP...CLAP..CLAP..CLAP..CLAP.CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!!

AAHHHHHH HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!

2:49 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

Going to get in line at Honey Baked Hate.

I mean, Honey Baked Ham.

I intend to check in later ... but if I don't yap w/ you later ...

Happy Thanksgiving to all (including FSJ).

Hate Bama.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Hoopie's Hatin' Bama said...

I nominate Jet G. Hate Bama for the Bama Hatin' Heisman. An outstanding recap that could only be borne out of true hate.

We gotta problem here...FSJ is callin out some of the Hotties as being Bama fans? A word that comes to mind anytime I'm around Bammers now comes to mind...DELUSIONAL. Monica's and Kristina's work on the HABOTN stands for itself as SOLID AU FANDOM.

Hoopie, the defender against negative Auburn speculation, hasn't been the largest rah-rah guy lately, but there is no evidence to suggest he is a Bammer. As a side note: Hoopie got "banhammered" from the pro-Bama Al.com sites for giving a first-hand account of an inebriated Bear in 1972.

Maybe FSJ is a "Faker"....he comes on here, wins friends and pretends to be one of the few reasonable Bama fans in the state and then....the delusion surfaces. FSJ..we hardly knew ye.

Gonna have to hookup that radio link to the Gump and start listening.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you mean defensively, but didn't UT-Martin score a TD in first quarter?

2:54 PM  
Blogger Hoopie's Hatin' Bama said...

Gotta go back to work, but my Heisman vote is for Colt McCoy. Great numbers, great leadership and lead his team through a brutal 4 game stretch and almost won it all.

2:55 PM  
Blogger shesaid drinks UAT Haterade said...

My vote for Heisman is Tim "Baby Rhino" Tebow just because I want to see him win it two years in a row. Also, I believe he's gonna go bananas against UAT next weekend.

3:02 PM  
Blogger WarEagleRK said...

Scottie B are you hearing Lane Kiffin to be the HC and OC at UT?

It's pretty strong down here that is what it's going to be.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

Mark ... I took down your earlier post because it was too long and that's Jerry Hinnen's property. You credited him (good) but you can't jack his entire diatribe.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

Offensive touchdown, yes.

I'll amend.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous dnatl said...

Todd wouldn't want you to vote his TT buddy Harrel for Heisman? Any chance of sour grapes?

3:21 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

Bitter, he is.

Also: Name of blog temporarily changed to more accurately reflect current conditions.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Hogan HATES Bama said...

I think Jey G's manifesto ought to be on our next shirt!

3:23 PM  
Blogger FSJ said...

Prediction:

Kiffin will be a disaster at UT.

3:27 PM  
Blogger WarEagleRK said...

So will Jet G. get the "Hater of the Year" at this years Playa Haters Ball?

Will he be giving Pitbull, the so-called Beautiful & Silky Johnson a run for their money?

3:30 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

JET!! That was a fan freakin tastic post! The "I wanna" post! AUsome! You have so impressed me with your sustained disdain! And now Jay has renamed the blog!?!? I LOVE IT!

HOTTIES RAWK!

Tracy - great post LOL The more chickalicious the blog gets, the better.

3:33 PM  
Blogger AU1N04 said...

I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving!! Haven't been on lately and will be back later to catch up with it all.

3:34 PM  
Anonymous dnatl - hates bama with a passion said...

the return address on the Heisman ballot is Stamford, CT - how far is that from Bristol? (Closer than we all knew, no doubt)

3:40 PM  
Blogger Steve from Columbia said...

My love the Bambi movement seems to be loosing steam.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you, AU1!

3:47 PM  
Blogger AuFan365 said...

Want to wish all the "Hatin' Hotties" a Happy Thanksgiving and "SGS". (Surprisingly Great Saturday) I personally like Sam Bradford for Heisman but there are several deserving, tuff choice.

(Okay ... include FSJ in the Thanksgiving wishes)

3:52 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you too, AUFan365. Love that nickname, btw.

3:54 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

That's so cool to see your ballot, Jay. Good call on staying home today.

All you traveling Hotties be safe out there. We need you back here in one piece for game time!

4:00 PM  
Blogger Phormerly Phred said...

BOOM BABY!!! BRING IT!!

4:01 PM  
Blogger AUFan365 said...

Thank you Mon ... I have used it on several sites for several years and seeing how you wrote it I realize that technically it is misspelled!! The Shame now I need to go across the net and try to change it. LOL

4:01 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

Phred! Did you finally snap out of it???

AUFan365 - I don't see what you mean. What's wrong with it??? I just read it as you're an AU fan 365 days a year - win or lose - come what may, etc...Love it.

4:02 PM  
Anonymous FSJ- It's Rollin.... said...

Mon..

He had the U as lower case in the original setup.

4:04 PM  
Blogger eddie4au- HATES BAMA said...

Atlanta Traffic sucks just like bama.

Sitting on I-20 posting and hating bama at the same time

New blog name- "HABOTN- Hating Bama Since Birth"

4:05 PM  
Blogger AUFan365 said...

The "U" should have been capitalized but you hit it on the nose 365 a year win/lose/draw my teams/my school!!

4:06 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

All You Need Is Hate

The Big Glob of Hate is Back!!!!

Got the Ham. Got More Coffee!!

4:11 PM  
Blogger jim in scranton said...

Card carryin' Muschamp lover here.

Scoring defense Texas: 19.5 pts/gm
Scoring defense Auburn: 16.4 pts/gm

Big XII teams in top 9 in total offense: 5

SEC teams 96th or lower in total offense: 6

Overall, I think Muschamp has done a better job than Rhodes this year. Of course, Texas actually has an offense.

4:11 PM  
Blogger scottie b hatin bama in tennessee said...

RK, i've been really busy today but the peeps that i have talked to are all hearing the same Lane Kiffin talk. they seem pretty pleased by it.

good luck with the traffic eddie.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

Jet is a known Boom Lover ... but to quote VH (kinda) ...

Ain't talkin' 'bout love,
My hate is rotten to the core
Ain't talkin' 'bout love,
Like I told ya before

IT AIN'T HUMP DAY ... IT'S HATE DAY!

4:15 PM  
Blogger scott from tucson said...

I used to go to haters anonymous meetings, but we all decided that it was right to hate.....

4:26 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

OMG Is this bama fan on the radio drunk? He is crying!

4:27 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

Haters Anonymous.

Awesome idea. I'd have to attend.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous FSJ- En Fuego said...

Not listening. I turned it off after Charles from Reeltown's call today.

4:29 PM  
Blogger scott from tucson said...

"I'm Scott from Tucson and I hate Bama; my higher power is cool with it though."

4:38 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

Faker - thanks for clearing that up for me with the small "U". Good b...

Eddie posting in ATlanta traffic. Now that's a good Hottie.

Faker - Charles was enough to get rid of you??? Come on!

4:41 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

Lovin' my coffee

Hatin' the Tide

4:45 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Sorry, Jay. I just thought it was ironic that he blasted you then went on a page and a half about how bad we are. I think irony is the right word.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

It's 4:55.

Before you leave your offices, remember to get your to-do list for the remainder of the week and weekend:

1. Hate Bama
2. Beat Bama
3. Hate Bama some more.

4:56 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

It so feels like Friday to me. It's messing me up.

HOw can these bama fans be such freakin cry babies and be ranked #1? They are just looking for something to be ticked off about. Looking for some way to be offended.

5:09 PM  
Blogger michael said...

Bama is an idiot.

4 Heisman - Tebow. Or McCoy. Wow, this is hard.

I would wait until the conference championships. By then, hopefully someone/someone's team will have separated themselves. There is a lot of football to be played.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Phormerly Phred said...

H ating
A ll
B ammers
O penly
T ogether
N ow

5:23 PM  
Blogger Phormerly Phred said...

Except for you Fake Steve, of course. But I think you are actually an AUB pretending to be a Bammer.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

I can't believe my Greg just called Finebaum. There is surely ice skating in hell tonight.

5:28 PM  
Blogger scottie b hatin bama in tennessee said...

Jet G. Hate. u are absolutely killing me.

see how HATE is such a positive thing and brings people closer together?

Phreddie, i thought you were going to call me today? sold out.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Crudup said...

Stat of the Game

If Bama does get that long awaited for 1st quarter touchdown I think it would be a safe bet to say they will win.

Auburn's best chance at winning will be jumping down their throats right off the bat a la 2005 (if that's possible).

On that note, I believe the 2005 Auburn team would beat this Alabama team handily.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

D is the answer to our victory and we're going to get on JSP. The D is ready. Virus gone.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Phormerly Phred said...

Scottie ... email me your number right quick ... I have a different phone with me and I don't have the number handy.

5:35 PM  
Blogger Steve from Columbia said...

Sharing that hate:

http://wireroadandshug.blogspot.com/

5:40 PM  
Blogger michael said...

If there was a HABOTN Heisman Award, I think Jan Terri would get it.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Steve from Columbia said...

I just realized that our own Jay G. Tate gets as many Heisman votes as Bo Jackson. Very impressive.

5:48 PM  
Blogger scott from tucson said...

i really think this one is all about the defense/special teams.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Jet G. Hate Bama said...

Gotta go be thankful with some friends.

You kids have fun hatin' for a while.

I'll be back to hate wit ya later.

5:53 PM  
Blogger FSJ said...

Mon:

I was wondering if that was your hubby....

I was in the car going to get some last minute Thanksgiving stuff and heard his call.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

New thread posted with OC details.

It's a few hours late. So it goes.

5:59 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

He's lost his mind. That's the kind of stuff goobers like you and I do, not Greg. He's most pleased with himself.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Jay G. Tate said...

Mr. Monica appeared on the Roundtable today?

Awesome.

6:03 PM  
Blogger Mon hatin' bama in WV said...

Jay - Greg heard Coach Donnan on Finebaum's show. Donnan used to be here at Marshall and still has part ownership in businesses here, including a bank. Greg would love to have him back. So, Greg called in and asked Donnan if he'd consider going back into coaching some day.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous mrsensible-exiled in chattanooga said...

I vote Monica caller of the year for representing the HABOTN so well.

Happy Thanksgiving!

-

6:38 PM  
Anonymous mr sensible - exiled in chattanooga said...

For what it is worth, Tim Tebow for Heisman.

7:40 PM  
Blogger scott from tucson said...

why is mr. s exiled to tenn? doesn't seem right.

8:01 PM  
Anonymous mr sensible's blackberry said...

Holiday travels with the wife Tuscon

8:12 PM  

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