Getting Our Bearings
I am hopeful that Brian Woodham, who recently left a part-time gig with ITAT to take a full-time job as a copy editor at the Advertiser, will be given an opportunity to take my old job. Brian would be a great addition. I'll let you know if I hear anything about that.
As I explained on Facebook, we will have a board at AuburnSports.com with a stricter standard when it comes to cussing and any off-putting shenanigans. Personally, I'm good with the Bunker and have read it for a long time. They get a little upset when things don't go well, which is understandable, but I feel like that board's reputation for savage commentary far exceeds reality.
With that said, we will have a HABOTN-esque board over there for people whose tolerance for cussing is at zero. Just want to make that clear.
I'll be starting at AuburnSports.com on Monday.
Take care, errybody. Thanks as always for your support!
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«Oldest ‹Older 3401 – 3600 of 4970 Newer› Newest»
That one had nice symmetry, didn't it?
Yes, and symmetry is a very good thing. As are an even number of posts :)
Yeah, so anyway.
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Reach for the stars.
I hope I didn't miss a comment from Sara. That would make me sad.
you're already sad.
even steven.
Odd Todd.
Nincompoops.
You misspelled Norm, Norm. But yeah, I bet you poop, and sometimes it's not even in a cooler.
Sara probably said "reach for the stars" if I had to bet money on it.
I do and I have in my home toilet, my office toilet, hotel room toilets, conference room toilets, hospital toilets, airplane toilets, once by absolute necessity in a Legion Field toilet, outside in the woods without a toilet (never go hunting without a roll of paper in your backpack). But never, ever in a cooler.
back in high school we took a greyhound-type bus to a game, think it was to Dothan, and somebody dropped one in that little toilet in the back of the bus. guess who was sittin in the back with all the other 10th grade pottedmeat cans? Art. sewage systems on those busses were....crappy.
Never in a stadium. Never in the woods. Never in an airplane. My eyes will turn brown before any of those happen.
Oh, and never in a cooler... but it would happen there before any of those other non-options.
I feel like some of the finer details of the cooler story have been lost over the years. I have never actually heard of myself or anyone else for that matter do business into a cooler.
I've learned never to ask you about your business.
And it's a good thing you don't. I'd hate to have to scold you for prying into the current condition of the goats in Idaho. A lot has happened in the last few months. One of the Iranian investors bred a pack of rabid coyotes to tear apart the herd. He thought I wouldn't know it was him, and my collateral would be gone. THT, the goats are just collateral. How many times do I have to tell you?
Needless to say, the investor knew nothing about my "strawberry jelly" plant 4 miles east of the embankment. It's unfortunate about how all the kids born in town over the next few years will have traces of coyote DNA, but I actually think it will be kinda cool. Can't wait to see how some of those genes show up. Anyway, that's the price you pay when you have these sorts of goats as collateral. You do things to protect what's yours, and things happen.
Never ask me about my business.
SNOW!!!
NIGHT DARKNESS!!!
Flaming Orbs of Sigmund!
yes, Jerry, it is sunny here, too.
MrsTHT, referring to our friends and neighbors:
"We're surrounded by smart, talented people. What happened to us?"
THT clan drank too much W VA water.
Norm, you can get in trouble for revealing details of the secret formula for Diet Coke.
I'm sure I could but I don't drink that stuff so I'm unfamiliar with the formula. I went to World of Coca-Cola once if that helps matters. My primary drink during the day's formula is as follows: you take two parts of some Hydrogen and then you take you one part of some Oxygen and combine them. Repeat that a number of times and you have a refreshing beverage.
I've got some half spent plutonium rods sitting next to me. Any of you guys have a recipe with some of that for the ingredient?
I always spend the whole plutonium rod. Burns right through my pocket like a... hot plutonium rod. So I wouldn't know the first thing to do with leftovers.
psst! hey, buddy. uranium. gitchyer uranium here. 235? yeah, i got it. you won't find a better deal anywhere. i got all the supply you need. don't worry about it. you want 238? got that too. but you gotta take it as raw material to make your own plutonium, i don't touch that stuff.
I'm going to change my will, commit suicide, and let AU have a juicy life insurance prize so that AU can pay more than ua-t.
Or I may just go get a diet coke. Yep, that's what I'll do. Then turn my focus to maps.
Yeah, I believe that's what I'll do. Go home... have a nap... and then over to Thelma Lou's for TV.
Norm's showing up here trying to sell uranium to a crowd that's into plutonium? Might as well show up to a heroin den trying to sell bud light. We're way past that, man.
And THT, glad to hear you got the diet coke.
plutonium? never touched the stuff. now kool-aid? drank enough of that to turn a battleship around. gimme back my...
I put 'em back where they belong.
Uranium and plutonium are for kids. Real men deal only with polonium. But not for long.
man I used to bathe in polonium when I was at AU. all the womens flocked to me.
Like the salmon of capistrano
I remember them: Lucious, Lee Roy, and Dewey.
And their Uncle Scrooge.
I can't imagine our world without feathers and chromium.
Or black coffee in bed.
I live in a better world than Norm. There is no coffee in my bed or in me.
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cut, I meant to say cut. You know, since no one has read it, I think I'll just delete it and repost it correctly. No one will ever know.
But, I'd take a bed full of black coffee before I'd crawl into a bed full of coral snakes. Those things will cut right through your wetsuit and diving shoes. Of course, I don't wear a wet suit in bed, so that is useless information. What I really need to know is, can coral snakes cut through my jammies?
maybe that coral snake was just tempted by the fruit of another.
Are your PJs made of a synthetic blend or 100% cotton, THT? This makes a difference.
Nothing synthetic about me. I'm all cottony.
In that case, beware of coral snakes in bed, THT.
Maybe the coral snakes would just be attempting to pull mussels from a shell.
You sure you don't mean muscles? Are we still talking about THT being in bed with these snakes?
does Mrs THT know about this?
No. I meant "mussels". I was continuing a brief theme. Don't question or doubt me.
I thought we were talking PJs - not briefs. I don't remember THT talking about his briefs. What's all this got to do with shell fish?
ain't got no briefs. And it has nothing to do with shellfish, but everything to do with giving this a try...
BO!!!BEASLEY!!!
just think if we get to post 273,488! THT may explode!
that would be cool for cats.
Oh, we'll get there, alright.
Happy VD, THT!
we're almost there!
we're still almost there!
We're really not that close to much of anything, are we?
What is this "we" business? As if you're one of us, Sara.
I think Sara was using the royal "we." I think she was expressing her emotional distance to the world. She's unfettered. She was posting here as a way of reaching out, MJT, and you spurned her. Wouldn't be surprised if she never shows up here again.
Good job, MJT.
Sara's an interloper. It's not so much that she's unwelcome but she just doesn't understand us. This can't be fixed.
if you feel like leavin you know ya can go...
But why don't you wait until tomorrow?
I thought you should know this, THT. I started a map thread on fight club.
REPRESENT!
Are we there yet? Where are we going? THT, you are very missed on FC. Just sayin'.
Heads up, MJT. Had a dream the other night that you guys are having another baby.
Who is THT?
bubbs, there's gonna some 'splainin to do if my wife ends up pregnant again.
Holy cow!!!
Cincytiger on Hv1.0 and a map thread on AUFC?!
I'm speechless, and I don't have a clue who THT is.
Oh, to answer your question, Cincytiger, we are headed to 273,488! posts because that's when "THT may explode", according to Art's prophesy.
well hopefully it wont be a literal explosion.
Bingo!
Today's Bingo! prize is a pink, plush gorilla toy. Please submit your winning card, in person, to the claims director between the times of 10:02AM and 10:03AM.
at the rate we're going, I don't think I'll be in any state to care whether or not the explosion is literal.
bubbs cracks me up with his lazy librarian comment elsewhere.
bongo.
ablarbalstaplop?
we've already offered a scholarship to the H.S. class of 2017 QB son of new AU coach/analyst Bobby Bentley. I sure hope Gus han't yanked Caylin's offer for that year.
That 'lazy librarian' comment is over rated. Much like Blome.
Kids love Floam. As long as it's not glitter, I'm, like, "whatever."
You did say "Floam," didn't you?
I agree, Blome is overrated. Unfortunately, the one who deserves credit didn't put his name on the map. So, you'll have to settle for a healthy dose of BlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlomeBlome
Why do you guys hate maps so much?
Yeah, maybe it's a situation like with "Family Bible". Willie Nelson wrote that way back yonder ago before he'd ever had any hit records and was living a poor existence. Now, many years later, the song has been covered by lotta folks and Willie's never received a dime for it since he sold 100% of it. But folks in the know...we know who wrote it.
But anyway, about Blome, he's a plagiarist and recognition stealer. He's dead to me. Literally and figuratively.
Yet his maps - HIS MAPS, NORM! - live on.
i'm the map. i'm the map. i'm the map.
That reminds me... THT, if you have a map telling you exactly how to get to where you want to go (in an audible voice no less), are you really an "explorer?"
Choose your answer wisely. The childhood of millions rests in your hands.
I always tell the map where I'm going, not vice versa.
how about versa vice?
Are you suggesting that THT has a versa problem? That's pretty serious accusations, MJT. I hope you have something to back that up.
My versa's not a vice, it's a habit. You just can't stop it!
so late last night, after we explored the countryside without one of those dumb GPS devices, MrsTHT finally said that we're "going back, I'm too tired to roam". By this time, it was getting dark and we had no idea where we were. Lighted windows stared at the lonely strangers there returning home. We finally met this lady down along the tracks. She called herself Miss Lucy, and she told us if we ever got home, we won't be coming back. Miss Lucy apparently doesn't know my propensity to go wandering off on unknown roads. Where would we be now if we didn't like to explore?
I just might pass this way again.
Though I'm not sure why.
Wish you would pass by my way. You coming to A-Day?
Hey Cincy! I will be in NYC April 5, Richmond April 12, and at work April 26. I am determined to sit at home on April 19. That day, I don't care what they may say, I will not be Flyin' down the road with my foot on the floor.
You guys see that henway?
What's a henway?
About three pounds!!
Rose with sun at the break of day, lookin' out my window, it's the same as yesterday
When I was seventeen, I dreamed of being King and having everything I wanted.
Yes, I remember. I had lasagna.
Alright boys, let's get some pictures.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
I once pole-vaulted across the Grand Canyon. And the pole I used wasn't even that good.
Sounds vaguely familiar...
Figures.
I have to be honest with y'all. Jasmine has never blown through my mind. Those guys were goofy.
Doc gets it.
I hate ua-t.
I dislike ice storms that keep power (and thus community well water) out for days, but I'll take an ice storm any day over anything ua-t-relatd. I just hope the basement hasn't flooded what with the pouring rain all day and no power to the sump pumps. I guess I'll find out in about an hour or so. I'll be rockin' down the highway towards home shortly.
If y'all haven't dotted your eyes and crossed your tees in preparation for y2k, you have just about run out of time.
Done and done, THT. I've already gone off the grid.
Watch out for David Webb. He hangs out there.
I'll be spending the evening from 8p until tbd in the bank's datacenter finalizing Y2K preparations and being onhand to support if any issues arise.
You're doomed, Norm. Hope you guys have months worth of water and rations in a bunker down there.
Also, I've already converted all my moneys into gold. All your money will disappear with all the little 1s and 0s come pumpkin time.
I sure hope there are no issues with the secured doors so I can get out of there whenever "tbd" has come and gone.
Norm, are you still down there? We survived y2k and now, 27 years later, I think it's safe for you to come out.
Guess what hotties?! Norm's big coming out party is upon us!!!
WOW! What a shock to the system. I emerge from the datacenter to find that while I've been away the following has occurred:
1) the very financial institution I was working for has ceased to exist. This was apparently newsworthy around the SE US.
2) GMB and I apparently have a son.
3) my daughter is getting married this summer.
4) AU won a NC.
5) AU lost a NC.
6) Miller Lite is using old can design.
Anything else newsworthy?
Joni loves Chachi.
Well that's nice. Those kids make a nice couple.
ua-t still sux. Some things never change.
Kinda like art's underwear.
Well, that's not entirely accurate. Art's underwear does change color.
and aroma.
And flexibility.
Looks like the cows have come home to roost.
Well I guess remodeling the chicken coop just jumped up on my priority list.
That's what happens when you let the cat out of the barn.
You can let the cat out of the barn, but you can't let the barn out of a cat.
I'm allergic to cats. Keep them in the barn.
'sup Bogotá?
I'm thinking of just burning the barn down.
Never liked that barn anyway.
Stupid red colored monstrosity.
I hate all barns everywhere.
I bet you would never even let a barn into your frat. Sad.
barn baby barn
when you feel like you don't really know how to use Wordpress, you look for a free class. When you attend a free class, you learn about all the security risks of a wordpress site. When you get scared into trying iThemes Security, you get locked out of your own Wordpress site. Don't get locked out of your own Wordpress site. Just sit at home and watch DirecTV.
To be fair, THT. There is a massive black market for blogs about maps. Wouldn't surprise me if a certain mafia group is working in shifts to crack your credentials.
You did the right thing. Keep yourself locked out, and watch some hockey.
as badly as the Penguins have been playing, I'll roll the dice with the mafia. I got some wonderful assistance from BBIndikator who helped me with my wp.config and .htaccess files. I'm once again open for hacking.
Commence hacking!
I hacked into map blog once. Changed everything to reflect the Sinusoidal Projection map.
Evil genius.
First!
blap mog.
blap mog.
The double posting police are looking for you.
I <3 the cordiform projection
That was clever, THT. Very clever.
tee hee, that map map looked like a big ol butt.
Bertha's? Or one of her sisters?
A sister but I didn't get her name, it's all rather sordid. I was in college, don't judge me.
Don't worry about us judging, Norm. It's impossible for any of us to lower our estimation of your person.
I'll sock it to ya, daddy.
I blame Norm for putting Troglodyte in my head.
Now are troglodytes the ones that hang from the cave ceiling, or are they the ones that are coming out of the floor?
Well I have no idea what role I played in getting "troglodyte" in your head. Allow me to attempt to make amends here:
Playground in My Mind
I think a troglodyte is one of those where it's ambiguous. They come from the ceiling and the floor.
You saying troglodytes are also hermaphrodites?
I like spessartites. They look Auburny.
Norm, you spoke of butts, i.e. Bertha Butt, one of the Butt sisters who the Troglodyte asked to "Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me"
Right on.
Now I have visions of "Laugh In" dancing through my mind.
A lot of dancing runs through your mind, doesn't it, Norm?
Didn't ᗅᗺᗷᗅ sing a song about him?
Shut up shuttin' up.
you bet your sweet bippy
Sock it to ME?
You can dance! You can jive! Having the time of your life!
Whatever. Just flip this thing already.
flippity-do-dah
should we put Norm and Art in Thunderdome to see who flips? Two men enter; one man leaves.
BOOM!
New Page Smell all over again.
First!
Norm with the premature BOOM! I think they have psychotherapy for that, Norm.
Wait till Art sees that poor flip.
Really is kinda sad. Guess Norm has passed his prime. We may need to start looking for a replacement.
Ron Mexico will not be impressed.
I'm just so embarrassed for Norm right now. Where does he even go from here?
I suppose Norm belongs in the group of JJ's first round of coaching hires.
Welp. The good news is that the next page flipper should be solid, if the trend holds.
You know, I used to flip quite a few pages back in my day. Some say I was even better at flipping than Norm. But he kind of made it his identity, which is fine. Seemed like he needed it. But that's what makes his decline all the more painful. He's probably in a gutter somewhere right now crying.
Poor ol' Norm. I guess he's retired. Should we put an ad in the paper for a page flipper? We'll need time to interview all the applicants and set up mock page flips to see who is qualified. This could take some time so we should probably get started.
BOOM!
Check in with the folks offering assistance in writing your Master's Thesis, I bet they have a plethora of contacts for page flippers looking for part-time work.
These guys obviously aren't pulling their weight around here. Maybe they can get themselves out of page 1 on this thread and into the present tense.
chip chip said...
jgt leaves and 1.0 breathes again. we can always come back to this thread and post in perpetuity.
Blogger SteveFC said...
Yea, I view 1.0 as our emergency shelter. In case of emergency, head here. It works.
Consider the source & don't put too much stock there.
everybody go to bed. Now!
Tomorrow starts 2+ weeks of nightly hockey double headers. WOOT! WOOT!
Oh? You don't say.
you know what's the best thing about hockey? hockey sticks. That's what.
Hockey sticks are great for slapping dry dog poos into the woods. Or so I've heard.
Well there you go. I'm definitely "pro" hockey stick.
just remember... dry
What THT is trying to say, Norm, is that you should bake batches of said dog poo in your oven before launching them in your yard.
30min at ~450 should just about do it. Just make sure to use a cookie sheet. Don't want to upset GMB.
launching them? I bet if someone Googles poop launcher, one will actually find a device to do that. I'm too scared to look.
Actually, if someone finds a machine that can launch them 582 miles, please let me know.
is that right?
You don't say...
The following internet searches have been made on 3 separate days in the past week. Which one of you is teasing me?
is a copy of a james cook map of the province of south carolina worth anything
james cook 1773 sc nc map
cook's 1773 map of sc for sale
There are 11 surviving copies of this map, none of which are in a position to ever be offered for sale. Did one of you find a copy in your grandmother's attic?
Probably that troublemaker bubbs.
yep, I had him at the top of my list of suspects. Now, if it had involved dead animals or drifters, my gaze would be in another direction.
The suspect sounds like someone who knows a thing or two about maps. Are you sure the suspet isn't you, THT?
It's obviously not me. I know 3 things about maps.
Hey guys, I found an old map. It had to be worth 10s of dollars, but I wasn't sure how to sell it.
Anyhoo. Traded it on craigslist for a chicken house. SCORE!
I wouldn't be surprised if my sister traded my old chicken house for that map cause she wants to give me a map for Irony Day.
Well, I didn't actually live in the chicken house. It was for my chickens: Chauncey, Checkers, and Chess. I forgot the other one's name. Chauncey was a big ol' white rooster that would sit on my shoulder while I mowed the lawn. Checkers, Chess, and Forgotten One were hens.
So not only were you sweaty and dirty after mowing the lawn, you also were covered in rooster poop. You're disgusting.
Why do you hate rooster poop so much?
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