Chizik in the Gump
Hey everyone. Happy Tuesday. Your Head Coach, Gene Chizik, will be in Alabama's scenic capitol city today meeting with the Montgomery Auburn Club.It's an exciting time, sure, but it's time HOTTIES got involved.
So if you're not attending tonight's shindig -- judging from our statistical profile, many of you are too far away to do so -- here's your chance to get involved.
What would you ask Gene Chizik?
I'll pick a few (legit) questions and post his answers here ... giving the initial questioner full credit, of course.
NOTE: Bruce Feldman of ESPN.com, a HOTTIE, posted a swell blog of his own yesterday. In it, he reported that Curtis Luper had been turned in for a secondary violation for posting his cell number on a prospect's Facebook page.
Disseminating that information in an email is permissible. Facebook is not a permissible avenue of communication.
Not a big deal. I just found that interesting.
posted by Jay G. Tate at
1:55 PM
152 Comments:
sdfh sfhfghghdfhdghj dghj dghj jh dghj ghj gghj dghj dghj jh dghj ghj ghjdgh gjh jhdujetdyj rdtn346u h5eyjne54drthhjdgh gjh jhdujetdyj rdtn346u h5eyjne54drth
fh sfhfghghdfhd
What do you mean by "legit" questions? That seems pretty narrow minded of you. You don't want to be narrow minded, do you Jay?
Well, I'm not going to ask Chizik about his favorite puppet.
what????????????????????????
Well, what person in their right mind would? Nobody with any kind of moral code should have a favorite puppet.
Now, I think a perfectly legitimate question could be, "What do you plan on doing about Auburn's puppet problem? How can you keep issues like this from distracting your team?"
How about this issue, which was raised by fan bloggers elsewhere: Does he worry about turning off the recruits who weren't invited to Big Cat weekend? Is there a downside to identifying the recruits the coaching staff deems the most special, in that the highest profile recruits who did not make the list might feel snubbed?
Ask if Dear Leader is well.
He's fond of Hanna-Barbera.
That's all I know.
fond of Hanna Barbera? Does wifey know about that?
He may have a safe crush on Penelope Pitstop.
Ask him if he saw Harrison in Academy Sports a couple weeks ago. I know he did.
Ask him if Harrison likes facebook or Twitter.
Monica, scottie, in case you missed it:
LuvAU1968 said...
scottie, when you tell Monica she's bad, she thinks it's a good thing! ;-)
Brother Jet said...
Luv ...
That would be a MASSIVE understatement.
Jay G ...
Instead of one question, why don't you give him one of those Facebook quizzes, like "Which Muppet Are You?" or "Are You Auburn Enough?"
Something like that.
sorry, but i had to google Penelope Pitstop and i STILL have no clue who she is. never seen her before.
Ask him what he thinks of the Boston College coaching situation.
I think it's important to know which Muppet our coach is most like.
JayGT - I got nothing legit. But I'm sure I will as soon as you are there. If Coach Luper is there have him fb me his cell phone and I'll call in my question. Of course, I'd have to activate my fb account.
I googled her, then remember her, and yes, she is crush approved.
Penelope Pitstop is a hot mama.
... and more permissive that Smurfette.
scottie, must have been before your time...
JayGT - I, for one, greatly appreciated your reference to Penelope Pitstop. She was Danica Patrick before there was a Danica Patrick.
But not quite as permissive as Daphne from scooby doo. What a tramp she was!
Penelope Pitstop cranks my tractor.
is she hotter than Daphne from Scooby -Doo??
I always questioned the motives behind the naming of some of the characters on Wacky Races.
I couldn't remember her exactly, so I googled her too. This was the best part because I immediately thought of Monica:
In Wacky Races she drove the Compact Pussycat, a pink, stereotypically feminine car with personal grooming facilities
Harrison,
I can't give you an answer. It's that close.
permissive.......i like it.
i'm in.
I like Michael's question about possible negative affects of BCW.
Now, my question. Mr. Chizik, you have put together a young staff, many of whom have already said they are looking to be head coaches soon. While I see nothing wrong with that, how do you intend to maintain a stable staff with so many of your assistants being young guys that are moving up the ladder quickly.
"A certain morally casual attitude."
How does he feel about the Teen Angels from Captain Caveman? That could be a little more iffy, since they are "Teen" Angels. Also, ask him if next year's A-Day could be set up in a Laff-A-Lympics format.
Muttley always had an awesome laugh.
Maybe you can get Chizik to give his best Muttley laugh impersonation.
Velma was a hottie when she took off the specs.
I kinda dig the whole sweater and Catholic girl skirt thing.
Coach Chizik, you have more QBs than Jim Hinsen had muppets. Which quarterbacks do you see possibly playing other positions?
Choc- we'll call them eigh-teen angels. that help?
Harrison's kinda lookin' like Dick Dastardly.
ask if chromosome analysis has been done to explain the similarity of the following mug shots:
Chizik and Lolley
Taylor Roof and Thigpen
Boulware and Rocker
Malzahn Grimes and Luper
How about asking Chiz' what his roll will be for Game Planning? Actively involved with the X's and O's or leave it to the O & D coordinators and be their sounding board?
LT
A question: is there any truth to the rumor that you are going to film a remake of "The Banana Splits," with your quarterbacks as the cast?
Question 2: Has Tyrik qualified?
Ask him if Auburn is going to go into the textbooks/cocaine/pitbulls market that the other school has cornered.
I like the idea of finding out how he sees his role on gameday.I like Loganville's question.
Ask him if we are going to wear orange jerseys for all the games, or just the special games.
The most important question, ask him if he feels Turner Gill is better qualified than he is to coach.
Hey, nobody had posted Turner Gill's name in weeks.
Ask him how he plans on reconciling his demand for physical play and tough practices as well as negotiating a 3 month schedule given the lack of depth at key positions, namely OL and LB?
Brethren,
Our wayward Brother Aubie has started this talk again.
Just as the Lord gave the word to Noah on how to build the ark, to Moses and Aaron about the priestly garments with great specificity, so has he done for us regarding the Auburn uniform.
Orange jerseys, orange pants, and blue pants and anything other than what we currently wear are an abomination before Him.
(Face mask color/names on back of jersey/and shoe colors are negotiable.)
Verily.
can he recruit 5* OL to a non-NFL type offense?
How many linemen is Auburn looking to sign in this recruiting class?
I like orange for the fans, Navy and White for the players. If we need to do anything, we can do a white-out a-la Penn State.
and AMEN!
Eigh-teen angels works! I wonder if it's within NCAA rules for cartoon characters to be Tigerettes.
THT, I believe you'll see the lines between CFB spread-type offenses and NFL offenses shrink every year. If you're a good OL you'll get paid. See Max Unger, Oregon.
I say reserve the orange uniforms to games where we play Florida, Clemson, or Tennesse.
AU 0-2 when I wore orange. I will never wear orange again. They may not be perfect when I wear navy, but it beats winless.
I haven't yet tried shirtless.
I say "NO" to the orange uniforms...and to drugs.
In that particular order.
Monnie wants to know what his calves look like.
THT wants to know his favorite Warren Zevon song.
Chip and Steve from Columbia want an in depth analysis on why Tubby was fired and who was at fault.
Scottie B wants to know what size T-shirt he wears.
Salsa wants to know if there is a cure for his erectile dysfunction.
I want to know if you put a piece of coal between his back molars and then did that Captain America Chizik teeth clench thing, would it turn into diamonds.
If you want to put him on the hotseat I would question what went on with James Willis. As I understand it the main problem was Auburn wanting Willis' severance money back since he was re-hired. What did Chizik have to do with that? Was it a purely administrative thing? If money was no object in terms or hiring coaches, which did this squabble cost us a coach?
Aubie award for post of the day!
I wouldn't ask anything about Tuberville. Chizik likely wouldn't care. It wasn't his doing and it is water under the bridge.
Much better, Brother Aubie, much better.
does he only sleep on planes?
You know the whole severance thing is interesting. In the business world if they lay you off they may pay you severance. If the rehire you at any point during, you give the rest of the money back. It's not like Auburn just made that rule up.
Ask him if Gus likes Catholic school girls. Yes, that most certainly is a legit question.
I think I know what Monnie's wearing to the games!!
Monnie,
If I wore a kilt and my orange jersey, you would absolutely DIG my AUsome calves!
In order to counter Chizik's second consecutive recruiting victory, coach saban has asked WR commit keiwon malone to go on a press conference and commit once again to bama.
Come out Gus,
Don't make her wait.
That Catholic girl
Thinks your calves are bait.
But sooner or later,
it comes down to fate.
Only the good live to punt
Aubie, you have NO idea how hard it was to find the right color orange plaid skirt!
Sean, to let $50,000 cost us a coach was just plain stupid. Tuberville walks with nearly $6 Million. I think it should have been made clear to Willis when he re-hired that the money would have to be returned. If that wasn't the case, they should have just taken the hit and not worried about it.
oh reeeeeaaaallllly????
Aubie, show me those calves!
Jet - You're quick!
Steve that's irrelevant. My point is just that it's not like it doesn't happen elsewhere. Besides if he was going to scream about giving back free money and then go to Bama on top of that, good riddance.
That's what Mrs. Jet said.
Jet, i about fell out of my chair.
you have a gift sir. :)
Willis is old news - why dredge it back up?
LT
Scottie, the ones who know me best understand that it's truly a curse.
SLOW DOWN. It's hard to catch up on these comments :)!!!
Eddie, it's high time you knocked back a nice cold Monster Energy Drink.
whatchu talkin bout willis...for
I agree Sean. I feel like i'm prepping for a campfire.
Who is this Willis person everyone keeps talking about?
That's my bad for engaging Steve, but blame him for bringing it back up.
looks like y'all are on autopilot. Usual afternoon work onslaught is going to force me to eject. Seizure later.
Here is a legit question I have, How much value does Chiz place on football camps? We know the answer from the previous staff, I would like to hear his.
Good question, Eddie.
hairy back THT!!
Monnie,
My legs -->
cool, I wear high heels too Aubie!
I like that question Eddie.
In terms of Willis, I am curious about who is pulling the strings here. Chizik should be the guy making the personnel decisions and since Jacobs has said money isn't a problem, I would have thought it a no brainer.
I am looking for a way to find out more about how the athletic department is run. Ideally, Chizik would be the guy responsible for the football team and would only answer to Jacobs. I suspect that isn't exactly the case.
Pulling the strings? That's precariously close to a puppet question. Michael, what's your ruling?
there goes that fantasy
Please ask coach Chiz who's side he's on, jon or kate's?
Manthing or Swampthing?
Batman or Black Panther?
Who will be our rotating TE's?
I just think we need to ask him this:
"How long is it gonna take you to beat Alabama?"
If he hesitates on his answer..... then he really didn't understand the question...... repeat it to make sure!
Mon....
Forget about Calves.....check the pecks baby!
Close, Mobile.
Ask him how long is it going to take to win the SECC.
AUnMOBILZ.........i like it.
To be perfectly honest, I'm a lats kinda girl. Nice shoulders/arms, etc.
lowered have mercy...
There you go, Monica.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
BIN, I think you're onto something. The Jon vs. Kate question could be revealing.
Jet - You're a lats, arms, chest, back kind of girl too???
Well Mon.... baby steps.... first take back the State.... then the SEC....then the whole Freakn WORLD!!!!!!
I appreciate good conversationalists, those who appreciate good books, well filmed movies, and have large ... assets.
Here's 2 softballs that will result in typical coach speak answers:
1. How is your family readjusting to AU?
2. How many OL offers have we presently extended?
Regarding Willis:
AU mishandled the Willis situation...now he is a Bammer. See...it's not really that hard to admit a mistake.
How did that unexplanable situation occur? Probably like so many others. Will those situations continue? No reason to think otherwise.
BinOBA.
Till recently I didn't know what your name stood for, so I always thought it was in reverence to Ben Obomanu.
------
Question for Coach Chizik:
>> Are you a fake Christian?
>> What happened to your sideburns and >> who is your barber?
>> Would you run up score on bama?
>> When would the 2-a-day start and would they be closed or open?
>> Do you know or remember anyone by the name 'willis' that some people talk about?
aero ... here's the exact question in two parts:
When you are up 48-0 on UAT in with a minute to go in the game, will you pass or run on the two point conversion? And as a follow-up, will the onsides kick go to the left or the right?
are more big recruiting events coming soon?
What will the Wildcat formation be called? The wild tiger?
Will John and Kate stay together, or will it become John+4 and Kate+4?
this espn guy on fbaum is the exact opposite of an eargasm
*yawn*
Monica,
Do you have ear-ectile dysfunction?
Tubbs was always quick to sell everyone on the kid's character and fit for Auburn. Coach Chizik do you feel that is still a top priority or are we after the best players first and character and fit second?
"I've never had any complaints."
Every time I have ever seen Jon and Kate + 8 (which my wife has always loved), Kate has made me want to scream at her and throw a shoe at her head. She is condescending, unappreciative, and evil. Hopefully that show will be canceled soon.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Kate went to UAT.
Maybe she is hard of hearing
tigercowboy - good question. I would like to know the answer to that, but I'll bet it will get a coach-speak answer. Of course, most everything else will, too.
I'd like to see one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey go off on Kate.
I am sure he won't say anything crazy no matter what the question. He seems very guarded and analysis his answers so as to avoid fallout. I have noticed that he has a lot canned answers that he plays off for various questions.
Your shoe is the reason she exists on tv.
Welcome to the negative-culture, persistent overstimulation and shock value. It sells. The most annoying of the people would be the heros, the rock-stars, the drug infested wastes of skin.
While the true heroes will never get any recognition.
Sometimes it kills me knowing that my children would be exposed to this media.
You need some R&R, Dr. Naut
and I apologize for the rant.
Aeron-Out.
I just threw away my shoe. Please tell me that means there is no more John and Kate + 8, aero. Tell me!
I believe the appropriate answers to two of your suggested questions are as follows:
Q - How long will it take you to beat UAT?
A - 60 minutes.
Q - How long will it take you to win the SEC?
A - 13 games.
Answers other than these are nothing more than prevarication.
Norm - You're my favorite.
Don't tell the others.
What I really want to know:
Apparently there are some big time recruits who were not invited to Big Cat weekend, and they feel slighted. What will you do to address that.
Monnie,
Those were not really my calves.
These are.
Jay G, you should just stand up and say, "Coach, Will wants to know..." he'll ignore you and leave the room. The interview will officially be "Willed" at that point.
Chiz is on ESPN right now.
Aubie - you and Michael should set up a play date for your calves & his sheep.
careful Aubie, many bama fans are way more turned on by those types of calves.
Will - sadly, that information would have been useful a few minutes ago. You've let me down. As your punishment, I'm leaving this computer for an afternoon run (the family's away so I can do whatever I want whenever I want).
I'm sorry the rest of you must suffer due to Will's negligence.
Will,
Chiz would reply, "Will, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, ..."
Michael/Mon- looks like what goes around comes around
I jilted Michael for Harrison and BOOM! I'm no longer Monica's fav :-(
What is the bad blood between Fbaum and Danny Sheridan?
I've never seen the show, but I'll still be glad to throw away all my shoes if it will get it off the air el pronto.
THT - I don't know why you would say that! You ARE my favorite!
Don't tell the others.
all is right in the world...at least until detroit wins the cup
holy cow! I'm a threadwiller yet again :-(
eargasm??
Tar Heel, I told you this morning to think positively!!!
Scott Choc.....Coach speak is good...and much better than the alternative.
Harrison...They let Bammers keep calves tied to stumps at the trailer parks?
Mon.....If PF can't get sumpthin' from you...he'll eventually diss ya.
Aero...I'm good with the rant...of course I probably could use some R&R also.
Tar Heel, I see that Durham is also on the list of the Top 10 Places to live.
Luv - the list is obviously wrong. Durham is a dump of a place to live. I may work there, but it is one of the very last places in NC I'd be willing to live in. (I hope Monica isn't around, my grammar is begging correction).
i just watched the new iPhone video tour on apple's web site. Simply AH-mazing. I hate that I can't have one.
Hoopie, probably so, but it's boring, and CGC seems to be better than average at it. I like what he's doing in general, but I don't think we're ever going to get many nuggets from him.
breaking news complete with news helicopters... the Slim Jim factory in Garner, NC blew up this afternoon.
I need to get my hands on the new iPhone, it is legit.
Hoopie - You're my favorite.
btw, JayGT - thanks for the link to Bruce Feldman's excellent article.
THT - keep us updated. I just went out and bought a Slim Jim in case there is a resulting shortage.
Mon...shhhhh!!! Jealosy abounds.
Wait!.....you're not gonna use me like all the other guys in here are you?
BTW ..... JGT and all the other folks in the GUMP.....War Eagle!!! ... and have a good time at the digs tonight.
Wish I could be there.
Scott...I just watched the past 2 days of ESPN CFB Live on DVR and Lane Kiffen needs to learn "Coach speak". I'll take boring over the alternative. Heck many folks got really tired of CTT's style...I figgered typical coachspeak would be welcomed.
CGC would be smart to continue as he has been doing....walk the walk before talking. He's got some assts that are capable of good sound bites.
I just returned from the shindig.
I'm transcribing Chizik now.
I'll post quotes by 7 p.m. CDT.
Big up to WEG and Mrs. WEG for stopping by to say hello earlier!
New thread up.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home